Erase Me
by HelloHooray
Summary: I keep on ducking, keep on ducking And nothing helps...I can't stop missing you. F/R Multi-chapter Rachel/Artie friendship. Title & summary: Erase Me- Kid Cudi & Kanye West
1. On the outside

**Disclaimer: **I don't own GLEE or its characters though I wish I did.

**Author's Note: **NEW STORY! Based off of the song 'Erase Me' by Kid Cudi & Kanye West. Great song= inspiration for another angsty fic! The first chapter is short and kind of sad but I LOVE me some Rachel/Artie friendship! BEWARE OF SOME FINCHEL ANGST! But it'll always end up happy :) THEY ARE ENGAME AFTER ALL! Set in the new year! THANKS AND ENJOY!

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She feels even more excluded and hated than usual when she walks into the buzzing cafeteria to see the tables full of students. No one wanted her. She usually doesn't care what everyone else thinks but now that _he _doesn't want her, nothing else matters.

She catches sight of the Glee Club's table and her chest tightens when she sees the harmony. She doesn't belong there. She never has.

Supressing the sobs that are on the horizon, she walks by the table quickly, hearing all signs of laughter fade. Hushed whispers are exchanged and she can't help but glance back only to meet his eye. His cinnamon eyes are guarded and his perfect face is a mask of detest as he glowers back at her for a long moment before scoffing and turning away. She swallows the thick lump in her throat, hastily leaving to find an empty table. The snickers that follow her make it harder to keep it together as she sinks into a seat a vacant table, her back facing theirs.

_Do not cry...do not cry...don't you dare cry _she scolds herself, feeling the tears well up and her face get hot. She's surprised she still has tears to shed.

The impact of something hitting her in the back of the head makes it that much harder as she looks down at her tray to see a chunk of bread that had been thrown. She turns in the direction of where it came from, seeing Santana smirking while the rest of the table -full of her _teammates_- cackles. She turns around quickly, trying to tune out her vicious insults but failing when she hears _his_ distinctive laugh, loud and mocking.

Why is the whole world against her?

She knows she did wrong, she knows she's not a good person but she could never do this to someone. She hurt him and she took responsibilty for it. She lost him and her passions as a result. But the universe wasn't done torturing her.

She clamps her eye shut tightly in attempt to stop the tears from falling as she takes a deep breath, trying to convince herself that she's stronger than this.

"Hey Artie, where are you going?"

There's no response as she warily opens her puffy eyes, glazed with tears and turns her head slightly to see him wheel up with a soft smile. "Hey Rachel" he greets in a friendly tone, gently pushing a chair out of the way so he can wheel himself into the position beside her. He places his lunch tray down beside her and smiles at her again, causing her jaw to drop open in shock.

She can feel the stunned eyes of the Glee Club on their backs as Artie takes a bite of his apple, ignoring the silent calls for him to come back to the Glee table. She sends him a questioning look as he grins with a shrug. "I didn't feel like being a total jerk today" he says causually.

She chuckles, the sound strained and foreign as she turns back toward her food. They eat in silence for a few moments, her own thoughts deafening as she chances glances at the boy who eats with a certain pride.

"You don't have to feel responsible for me" she murmurs finally, breaking the silence. "You don't have to join me for my hours of shame."

"I want to" he replies calmly. Her heart pounds unevenly as she remembers when_ he _said those words, so softly spoken and making her feel so loved. "Besides, I'm sick of them...you deserve better."

It's quiet again as she processes his words. She still feels lonely but she's not alone. The touch of warmth she feels through the ice cold gaping hole in her chest makes her smile slightly with a whispered "thank you."

"Don't mention it" he says idly. After a beat fo silence he turns serious. "I'm sorry."

There's no need for an explanation because she knows he's apologizing for so many things; his own faults and the unacknowledged mistakes by the whole Glee Club.

And he's apologizng for _Finn._

She swallows thickly, managing a small smile of appreciation. "Thanks."

"Don't mention it."

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**AN#2: **ANGST! This is gonna be deep people...just a quick, short intro!

Next ChapterL who knows? i don't ;)

REVIEW KINDLY! THANKS FOR READING AND STAY TUNED!


	2. I could care less

**Disclaimer: **I don't own GLEE or its characters though I wish I did.

**Author's Note: **Hiya, world! Thanks to all who reviewed/alert-ed/read! Here's chapter two which is quite angsty (Finn being DEPLORABLE)! I have a very short chapter three typed up but I'm gonna pace this one...hopefully it'll make it more enjoyable! Anyways, ENJOY!

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She sits alone in the far corner of the choir room later that day, her gaze averted to her lap. Her supposed _second family _all ignore her and turn away, excluding her from the group discussion. Santana is running it, of course, while everyone pretends to be enthralled by what she's saying.

Every time she sees Santana, she wants to hit her -_so_ hard. That girl makes her life miserable on a daily basis. That girl screwed up the one thing that made her truly happen. And that girl stole _him _and rubs it in her face every chance she gets.

But she can't seem to find the strength to stand up for herself. Her guilt and hurt has made her weak. And it's not like she'll ever shut that girl up. She's relentless.

She hears Santana say something about her being a dwarf as everyone scoffs and she tries to hide how much that stings. Santana smirks at her, gauging her reaction as she spares them all a glance. She wants it to not affect her and she wants to defend herself before storming out.

But it _does_ hurt, especially when _he_ puts his arm around the girl's shoulders and snickers. And she can't find the words to sound confident even in her head. And she can't storm out because she can't find the will to get up and leave.

She turns away from their ridiculing, smug faces and chances a glance at the clock. Rehearsal hasn't even started and she already wants it to be over.

Moments later, Artie wheels himself in and without even sparing the group a glance, her rolls over to her with a large smile. "Hey Rachel" he greets cheerily, parking himself right beside her. The piercing eyes of the Glee Club make her feel uncomfortable as she gives him a small smile in return, biting her tongue before she tells him that everyone will hate him for doing this.

"So, how was your day?" Artie asks blithely, seeming oblivious to the watchful, judgmental crowd that fell silent to not-so-stealthily eavesdrop.

"Umm..." She clears her throat to clear it of any hoarseness or emotion as she takes a deep breath. "Good...yours?"

"Boring as hell" he says in a groan. "I had History. Mrs. O'Neil _really _needs to retire. She mumbles and we don't even know what the hell she's talking about because I'm pretty sure Lincoln isn't president anymore..."

She allows a laugh to leave her lips as Artie smiles triumphantly before continuing his rant. She really appreciates his efforts. It's nice to know _someone _has a heart here.

She tries to ignore the whispers and seething glares from the people behind her but she deflates nonetheless. She hates putting Artie in this position. He's too good of a person to be detested along with her.

"Alright guys, let's start it up" Mr. Schue says as he strides into the choir room. He claps his hands together as everyone turns their attention to him. "Now...I-"

_His_ hand shoots up, silencing everyone in shock as Mr. Schue quirks his eyebrow in surprise. "Umm...yes, Finn?"

"I have a song" he announces, a certain vain manner, already heading to the front. "I didn't get to sing it at Christmas but it has New Year's in it, too."

"Uh...alright" Mr. Schue says with a disbelieving laugh. "Love the enthusiasm. Go ahead."

He clears his throat, smugness radiating. "You guys will probably know who this is about" he begins with a scoff. "If not...well I don't think anybody's that dumb. I hope this gets my point across." He turns to glower directly at her and she shifts under his glare before he turns to the band and gives them a nod.

Once the music starts up, her chest tightens severely making it hard to breathe.

_He couldn't._

_"These are your good years  
Don't take my advice  
You never wanted the nice boys anyway  
And I'm of good cheer  
'Cause I've been checking my list  
The gifts you're receiving from me  
Will be..."_

She chances a glance at him to see that he's singing _at_ her, swaggering along the row as he sings. The club claps and sings along, as he pulls Santana up with him to the front in further humiliation for her. Artie stays put, his eyes sympathetic as he gauges her reaction.

She can't believe this is happening.__

"One awkward silence  
And two hopes you cry yourself to sleep  
Staying up, waiting by the phone  
And all I want this year is for you to dedicate your last breath to me  
Before you bury yourself alive..."

She ducks her head, her eyes welling up with merciless tears. She knows what she did was selfish and mean. She knows she hurt him badly. She knows she's a horrible person but this...this was a step too far. She feels so derided and hurt she can't breathe.

She feels like she'll be sick all over Artie.

_"Don't come home for Christmas  
You're the last thing I wanna see  
Underneath the tree  
Merry Christmas, I could care less_

"Happy New Years, baby  
You owe me  
The best gift I will ever ask for  
Don't call me up, when the snow comes down  
Its the only thing I want this year..."

She bites her lip so hard that she draws blood as her eyes flicker closed from the sheer pain of it all. Her heart was broken before in Finn's possession but now it's crushed with no hope of repair. She can practically feel it, laying shatteredin the palm of his hand.

And he could care less.

_"One awkward silence  
And two hopes you cry yourself to sleep  
Staying up, waiting by the phone  
And all I want this year is for you to dedicate your last breath to me  
Before you bury yourself alive..."_

Her face is burning, hot in embarrassment and sadness as she swallows the lump in her throat. Artie places his hand on her back in a comforting way but unfortumately provides none as the club dance and sing around her, all banning together.

She's never felt so hated and humiliated in her life.__

"Don't come home for Christmas  
You're the last thing I wanna see  
Underneath the tree  
Merry Christmas, I could care less

"Don't come home for Christmas  
You're the last thing I wanna see  
Underneath the tree (Don't come home for Christmas)  
Merry Christmas, I could care less

"Don't come home for Christmas  
You're the last thing I wanna see  
Underneath the tree (Don't come home for Christmas)  
Merry Christmas, I could care less."

He finishes after what feels like hours with Santana all over him. Everyone claps and whoops, including Mr. Schue who's _laughing. She tastes the salt and iron from tears and blood on her tongue as she quickly wipes her eyes with the back of her hand. She refuses to look up and let them all see how much it hurt, instead looking down at her hands that rest on her lap, mortified beyond belief._

"That was great, Finn" Mr. Schue exclaims proudly. "What was your inspiration?"

Before he can respond, Santana pipes up with a vicious remark. "That dwarf RuPaul over there" she sneers deridingly. "He finally shut her up! We're celebrating Finnocence's return the world of the cool." She can feel the girl's eyes on her. "Aw...poor, Berry. No one loves you. I-"

_"_Shut_ up, _Santana" Artie snarls, surprising everyone. "Jeez can you shut your big fat mouth for two seconds? Damn, I have a frigging migraine listening to you squawk." He huffs in annoyance, rubbing his eyes wearily. "That was just _mean_! I'm sick and tired of listening to you talk and talk and talk and state your ignorant opinions about _everything!_ News flash: no one cares what you have to say! No one's listening! The only reason people pretend to like you is because they think they can get in bed with you or they're scared of you! Just shut up!"

The shocked silence is deafening as she glances between Artie and Santana. Santana is absolutely fuming and Artie is staring challengingly at her. Her jaw is hanging open as well as the rest of the club's as Santana, after another beat of silence, storms out with a growl.

"Umm..." Mr. Schue mumbles, breaking the thick silence. "I think we've had enough for one day. You're all dismissed...practice tomorrow."

After a few tense moments, people warily begin to shuffle out incredulously. _He _stays stationary, watching her. She locks eyes with him for a long moment and doesn't care if he sees her vulnerability.

Artie pats her back, bringing her to reality. "You okay?" he murmurs.

She tears her gaze away from _him_, giving Artie a smile. She's so damn thankful for him. "Yah" she whispers with a nod. "Thanks. I-I _really_ appreciate that. You have no idea."

He beams, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. "Hey, I'm here for you. I'll see you tomorrow." He begins to wheel away and she smiles slightly when he calls over his shoulder: "He-who-must-not-be-named-'cause-he's-a-jerk is next!"

She sits, shaking her head in awe as he wheels out the door, brushing past _him, _almost running over his toe on purpose. She chuckles lightly at her _friend's _antics before getting to her feet.

When she realizes _he_'s hovering, all signs of amusement and optimism vanish. She swallows thickly, taking a deep breath before beginning to head toward the door.

"Rachel, can I talk to you for a minute?"

Relief flows through her when she hears the words spoken by Mr. Schue as she quickly turns toward the teacher, nodding. She takes a seat by the piano when he gestures to it, watching as he catches sight of _him._

"Finn, do you need something?" Mr. Schue asks in confusion.

She stares at him as he rocks awkwardly on his heels and nervously shoves his hands in his pockets. "Umm...no" he finally murmurs. "I was just leaving."

He glances at her again but she quickly looks away. With a sigh, he disappears from the room but some part of her knows that he isn't _really_ gone.

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**AN#2: ***GASP!* How could Finn! haha

Next Chapter: Mr. Schue & Rachel's conversation

THANKS FOR READING! REVIEW KINDLY!


	3. Confidence

**Disclaimer: **I don't own GLEE or its characters though I wish I did.

**Author's Note: **MERRY CHRISTMAS, WORLD! Thanks for the awesome reviews and as my gift to you, it's a big update night! I have so many chapters typed up but I want to pace this so I won't go hog wild. Song credit last chapter was 'Yule shoot your eye out' by Fallout Boy. Enjoy this chapter and look out for more reviews tonight! LOVE TO ALL!

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Once _he _departs, she feels a part of the weight on her shoulders disappear as she crosses her legs primly, remembering Mr. Schue wanted to talk to her. The teacher heaves a sigh, taking a seat on the edge of the piano, facing her as he meets her eye grimacing.

"Yes, Mr. Schue?" she presses.

"What's going on, Rachel?" he asks on his exhale.

"What do you mean?"

He sighs again, running a hand over his face in exhaustion. "You know what I'm talking about." She stares at him expectantly. "Refusing solos, being quiet, letting people say things with disregard, Finn singing that song...what's going on? You're...not you anymore."

She rolls her eyes and exhales loudly, stopping him. "Ask..._Finn_" she says thickly, her mouth tasting bitter when she says his name. "He's the one making a scene."

"If this is about your issues with him" Mr. Schue says in annoyance. "Or if it's about the fact other people are getting attention then-"

She snorts, cutting him off. She feels the anger bubbling and roaring viciously in her chest as she gets to her feet, feeling something inside of her snap. "Wow...I never pinned you to be like them" she says incredulously. "I never thought you would judge me like they all do. Maybe I don't want solos because I don't enjoy it anymore...this-this dysfunctional_ thing_ you call a family. Maybe I don't want to talk because I'm sick of getting bashed every time I open my mouth. Maybe the things they all say hurt me because I'm a person with feelings and maybe it hurts even more that no one has ever stood up for me except Artie."

She makes a disgusted sound shaking her head. "If that's all..." She strides toward the door, fuming.

"Does this mean you're quitting?"

The question, so blatantly asked by Mr. Schue, freezes her as she ponders for a moment.

Quitting. Rachel Berry is no quitter. But right now, she doesn't really know who she is anymore. And maybe quitting isn't the right word.

Turning to face him, she shrugs idly. "I don't know" she says, for the first time in a while sounding confident. "I'll keep you posted."

Without allowing him to respond, she departs from the choir room. Liberation in a small form washes over her as she releases the breath she's been holding since _he _left her, another chunk of the weight that's been eclipsing her disappearing from her shoulders. She relishes in the foreign feeling for a brief moment, smiling softly.

The elatedness is short-lived when she spots Finn hovering by a nearby locker, hiding, and Santana's seething frame stomping towards her and a brand new burden is unleashed.

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**AN#2: **Ooh suspense! Haha

Next Chapter (that will be posted TONIGHT): a heated confrontation...gloves up!

THANKS FOR READING! REVIEW KINDLY!


	4. Honesty and Brawls

**Disclaimer: **I don't own GLEE or its characters though I wish I did.

**Author's Note: **Second update of the night! Don't know if I'll do more. I want to -so bad- but I want to keep you begging for more. My other fic (Catch me if you Can) didn't get a ton of reviews and I'm thinking it was because I sped through it so...I dunno. LET ME KNOW! Anyways, enjoy this chapter!

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"Berry" Santana growls. "We need to talk."

Taking a deep breath, she looks at the fuming Cheerio. "What?" she asks acidly through gritted teeth.

"Tell Abrams to put a sock in it first of all" the girl orders, arms crossed as she glares at her. "And second, stop playing the sympathy card. Finnocence is _mine_ now because he finally got fed up with you. I was his first choice and I still am. Don't bother trying to win him back. You saw him check me out and you heard him call me super hot. You don't know what goes on when we're not at school, either. Has he ever said you were super hot? Has he ever checked you out? Has he ever bragged about you? He doesn't love you. _Who_ could love you? Anyone with ears and eyes couldn't love you. You're an ugly dwarf who doesn't shut up. Finnocence is finished with you. And he's _all_ up on this..."

All the malicious, cruel things that are being spat at her fuel the fire in her chest as she absorbs all of the insults Santana hiss at her, anger simmering deep within and only growing with every word...

"...and now he's screaming _my_ name-"

And she snaps.

"Shut the hell up, you _slut!" _Santana's startled by her outburst. "Just shut up! You're such a bitch and I'm done letting you say all this crap to me! You're ugly and mean and no one could ever love you because you're incapable of being loved! You pretend you hate everyone and everything when really you hate yourself! I feel _so_ bad for you that you have to result to sleeping with everything at this school in attempt to feel loved. You were jealous of what Finn and I had and you had to go and ruin it. You didn't like it that Finn wasn't falling at your feet so you had to go and make my life a living hell! I wonder what happened to you to make you so angry at the world and have no respect what-so-ever for yourself. I'm done taking all your crap! You have issues! You need help! You-"

She seems to strike a nerve because Santana's eyes spark before she lunges at her, tackling her to the ground. The impact of her fist plowing into her eye makes her cry out in pain, attempting to fight off the girl. Santana's much stonger, punching her again and screaming incoherent things about her being a midget as she tries to cover her face.

Santana's finally ripped off of her by a hysterical Mr. Schue and Finn. She lays on the ground, her face pulsating painfully as she stares up at the ceiling. She finally sits up, utterly shocked as she watches Mr. Schue try to restrain her. "Are you insane?" she shouts, wiping the trickling blood from her nose. "You should be in a mental hospital!"

Santana growls loudly, trying to fight off the bound resistent arms of Mr. Schue and Finn. "You _suck_, Berry" she bellows. "_Let me go so I can shut RuPaul up for good!_"

"Calm down, Santana" Mr. Schue commands in a strained voice.

"Not until I _strangle_ her!"

"You know what?" she yells, getting to her feet. "You can have him, Santana! You can be captain of Glee, you can be the leader and you can have Finn because I don't care anymore! Have fun with your pathetic life because the only thing that'll make you happy is taking everything I have. So take it. But remember that the emptiness in your life won't be any fuller. Finn's the greatest thing you'll ever have and if you want to go screw it up like you did with everything else then go ahead! I couldn't care less!"

With that, she storms away, leaving them all behind. Her eye feels puffy and sore but it's nothing compared to the anger that burns deep within, scars rising to the surface.

She waits for liberation to come again for finally telling that bitch off.

It never does.

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**AN#2: **DRAMA! Haha...intensity!

Next Chapter: Phone convo with a good friend (not Artie) and someone running out!

THANKS FOR READING AND REVIEW KINDLY!


	5. Eavesdropping

**Disclaimer: **I don't own GLEE or its characters though I wish I did.

**Author's Note: **Last update of the night (triple)! Please let me know if you want me to create suspense with one upate a night or speed it up because I have a lot of pre-typed chapters. This won't happen when school starts up again...you'll be lucky to even _get_ updates! So tell me if I should slow down or speed up! For now, Merry Christmas and enjoy this chapter!

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She lays on her bed that night, an ice pack pressed to her swelling eye as she listens to her dads argue about taking action on Santana punching her. Leroy, her big, dark-skinned father, wants to call Figgins and get Santana expelled whereas her other dad Hiram tries to keep him in perspective. They asked her what she wanted to which she replied: "It's not like anyone's going to do anything about it...she practically runs that school."

Which was the truth. Figgins wouldn't do anything. No one would care. _She_ would be more likely to be expelled than Santana.

The playing of 'Defying Gravity' slices through the quiet as she rolls over, grabbing her cell phone, already knowing who it is. "Hey Kurt" she says with a sigh, rolling over onto her back.

"Wow, you're psychic" her friend says sarcastically. She smiles slightly. She misses Kurt so much but she's happy he's loving it at Dalton.

"I know...so how are you?"

"Good, good" he answers idly. "Missing my divas at McKinley."

"They miss you, too" she laughs lightly. "How's Blaine?"

"Fantastic" he replies dreamily.

"Any progress?"

"We're hanging out more which is amazing but other than that..." He sighs. "Not direct progress."

"Keep hanging on" she advises. "He's a keeper."

Kurt chuckles and she finds herself missing him more. "So...how's McKinley?"

"Same old, same old" she lies. "Being hated. Nothing out of the ordinary."

"Really...well then how come my stepbrother is hiding in his room playing Journey's greatest hits?"

She freezes, closing her eyes and wincing. _Damn Finn_.

"He isn't responding to my pressing, either" Kurt continues. "I need to know what's going on!"

"Nothing" she fibs quickly. "Or...I'm not aware. I-"

"Liar."

She sighs. Kurt knows her too well. "Fine...I'll tell you. But you have to promise me something."

"Okay...?"

"Don't go to kill Finn afterwards."

"Uh-oh."

"Promise me, Kurt" she demands seriously.

"I-I...promise I won't go to _kill _Finn afterward."

"Good enough." She exhales loudly. "You're not going to believe what happened."

"Tell me!"

"Okay" she begins. "So ever since your stepbrother dumped me, he's been banning the Glee Club against me. He's dating Santana and now everyone hates me more than before. Today was particularly awful. At lunch I was sitting alone as usual and then Santana threw a piece of bread at me. Finn just laughed. But then Artie came and sat with me which was really nice-"

"Aw...I've always liked Artie."

"I know...he's just a genuinely good guy. So then at Glee I was sitting alone -_again_- but then Artie came and sat with me -_again_- which was really nice of him. But I felt bad because the whole club was glaring at us and I don't want to put Artie in that position. Anyways, then Mr. Schue came in and was ready to start up the lesson but guess who volunteered to sing."

There's a silence before Kurt gasps. "He _didn't_..."

"He did" she says sadly, feeling her chest tighten at the memory. "And guess what he sang."

"Oh...something bad" Kurt murmurs sympathetically. "I can't guess."

"'_Yule shoot your eye out' _by Fallout Boy."

Her friend inhales sharply again. "Oh, my Gosh" he hisses. "What a-"

"That's not all" she continues. "He brought Santana up with him and the whole Glee Club besides Artie to humiliate me."

"I'm going to _kill _him-"

"You promised you wouldn't" she exclaims. Kurt huffs. "Then after, Mr. Schue just laughed and praised him and then asked what his inspiration was. Stupid Santana cuts in and starts calling me a dwarf and then says that no one loves me then Artie snaps at her. He told her to shut up and that no one cares what she says. Then..." She pauses for dramatic effect. "She _stormed out._"

Kurt laughs loudly. "No way!"

"She did" she says in amusement. "Everyone was shocked. Then Mr. Schue dismissed us but Finn hovered. I thanked Artie before he left and then Mr. Schue, before Finn could corner me, stopped me and said he needed to talk to me. Finn left but he was still in the hall. Mr. Schue starts going off about how I' not acting like myself and then I told him that I didn't want to put myself out there because all I do is get bashed."

"Good for you."

"Then I went to leave and he asked me if I was quitting and I said I'd keep him posted-"

"-Nice!-"

"-Then I left and I saw Finn hiding but more importantly I saw Santana and she told me we needed to talk. She said to tell Artie to put a sock in it and then she started going off about how I'm a dwarf and how no one could ever love me and a lot of stuff about Finn being done with me. I was angry but then she sad something like 'and now he's screaming my name' and I snapped. I told her she was a bitch and that she didn't hate everything she just hated herself and I said that she needed serious help and she tackled me."

Kurt gasps sharply. "_No_-"

"-And then she punched me in the eye-"

"-That bitch!-"

"-And then my nose and it started bleeding. Mr. Schue and Finn finally ripped her off of me and she was freaking out. I told her that she should be in a mental hospital and she said she wanted to strangle me so I told her she could have everything: Glee Club and Finn but that wouldn't make her empty life and fuller. He just _stood there _so I left and now I'm sitting here with a black eye."

"That's like something off a soap opera" Kurt exclaims. "How are you feeling after all that?"

She sighs. "Not any better than I did before. I thought it would make me feel better but it just...didn't. I finally told her what a horrible person she is but nothing changed. And Finn proved to me that he's incapable of being consistent. I can't believe he sang that song...he absolutely mortified me. As if he didn't know how sorry I was and how much I love and miss him-"

"Hold on a sec" Kurt says quickly. "Finn, where are you going?" Her breath hitches as she listens intently, hearing a door slam. "What? What are you doing? Finn! Come back!" There's a muffled sound as Kurt gets up and calls after Finn again. She holds her breath, biting her lip again. "Sorry, Rachel...Finn just got up and left. I have no clue where he's going but he took Carole's car. I-wait. Hold on another second."

She hears Kurt get up and she sits frozen, listening to the silence on the other end. What's going on? Where'd Finn go? Where'd Kurt go?

She hears Kurt's distinctive growl as he picks up the phone again. "_That jerk_!"

"What's going on?" she questions breathlessly. "Tell me!"

"Finn was listening to our conversation" he says angrily. "I found our other phone connected. He was eavesdropping that mother-fu-"

"Are you sure?" she asks desperately.

"Positive."

Kurt continues to rant but she zones out. Finn heard everything she said. Finn _heard _everything she said. _Finn heard everything she said._

Yikes.

"Where'd he go?" she demands, cutting him off. "You said he left! Where's he going?"

"I don't know..."

"Find out!"

"Okay, okay" he says. "I have to go, my dad's home. I'll let you know if I hear anything."

The line goes dead as she stays frozen like a statue as if waiting for Kurt to come back. But he doesn't and she finally puts her phone down, processing everything.

This is not good.

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**AN#2: **WHERE'D FINN GO? Haha stay tuned!

Next Chapter: Facebook investigations

THANKS FOR READING, REVIEW KINDLY, TELL ME WHAT I SHOULD DO WITH ALL MY PRE-TYPED CHAPTERS AND HAVE A GREAT NIGHT!


	6. Facebook Investigations

**Disclaimer: **I don't own GLEE or its characters though I wish I did.

**Author's Note: **Hello, readers! Thanks for the awesome reviews and due to popular demand, I'm going back to my old ways and updating BIG! *applause* Tonight will be a triple update but the third one will be a bit later because I'm struggling to finish it. It's a big one. But it'll be up! For now, enjoy this chapter!

FYI...I'm not familiar with Facebook so be kind.

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She thrums her fingers against her desk impatiently, waiting for it to load. Once the internet pops up, she types in the unused address and presses enter, watching as the page loads slowly.

She's not a huge fan of Facebook but this is necessary. It might reveal Finn's location. She logs in and skims through her contacts, grimacing.

**Finn Hudson **is offline.

**Kurt Hummel **is offline.

**Tina Cohen-Chang**is hanging out with her boyfriend **Mike Chang**.

**Mercedes Jones **is offline.

**Artie Abrams **has just been invited to Puckerman's place but is declining the offer.

_Odd _she thinks to herself, opening up a message.

**Rachel Berry - Artie Abrams: **Hey Artie...Puck invited you to his place?

**Artie Abrams: **Hey Rachel...yah. It was weird. He said it was a party but it's still a school night.

**Rachel Berry: **Yah that is weird.

**Artie Abrams: **Why? What's going on?

**Rachel Berry: **Something kind of weird. I got to go but I'll tell you when I know.

**Artie Abrams: **Let me know if I can help.

She types a goodbye quickly before scrolling reluctantly down to the popular contacts.

**Sam Evans **is chilling with **Quinn Fabray. **

** Quinn Fabray **is going with **Sam Evans **to **Noah Puckerman's **place.

**Brittany Pierce **doesn't remember how to log off.

**Santana Lopez **is at Chez Puckerman with a sexy Finnocence. Keep drinking, honey.

She eagerly clicks on Puck's name.

**Noah Puckerman **is having a partay with a wanting-to-be-wasted **Finn Hudson.** Come on down...Hudson's a funny-ass drunk!

She ruefully but desperately opens up a message to Puck.

**Rachel Berry - Noah Puckerman: **What's Finn doing?

**Noah Puckerman: **Berry? Since when are you on Facebook?

**Rachel Berry: **What's Finn doing!

**Noah Puckerman: **Calm down, Berry. He just came over and said he wanted to get wasted. Now I'm getting the party started. And no, you can't come.

**Rachel Berry: **Thanks. Make sure he doesn't drive home intoxicated!

** Noah Puckerman: **Okay, mom.

She ignores the comment, quickly jumping out of her chair and grabbing her phone. She dials Kurt's number hastily, listening to the ringing as her knee bounces impatiently.

"Hey" he greets breathlessly. "What's up?"

"I know where he is" she says flatly.

"You do? How? Where? Why?"

"I found out through Facebook which I'm never going on again" she answers. "I went through all my contacts and found out he's at Puck's, and I quote 'wanting to be wasted'. Now Puck's telling everyone popular to come over for a party."

"I don't care that I promised you" Kurt growls. "I'm going to kill him. I have to go tell his hysterical mother...she called him about forty times with no answer. Thanks...I'll text you later."

He says his goodbyes and she hangs up wit a long sigh. As much as she doesn't want to be, she's worried sick. He may have mortified her beyond belief but she still loves him even if it's unhealthy.

Falling back against her pillows, her eye catches the screen where she's still logged in. She crawls over and grabs her laptop, sliding it onto her lap. Before she can log out, a new update from Puck catches her attention.

**Noah Puckerman **is laughing his ass off at **Finn Hudson** being drunk. He just spilled booze all over **Santana Lopez **after calling her **Rachel Berry. **Bahaha he finds it hilarious...you're a dead man, Hudson!

Her eyes widen severely as she re-reads the post several times, her mouth hanging open.

**Noah Puckerman **is watching **Finn Hudson** make an ass of himself by telling **Santana Lopez** that he wishes she was **Rachel Berry**. OUCH!

Her eyes are glued to the screen, waiting for another update. She can't believe this is actually happening.

** Noah Puckerman **is pissing himself laughing at **Santana Lopez slapping Finn Hudson and telling him to go to hell. He's so out of it it's insane.**

She keeps her eyes locked on the screen but jumps nearly a foot when her phone buzzes. She freezes again, hearing the now unfamiliar ringtone that was once her most frequently heard.

_"I'm forever yours...faithfully..."_

She dives for the phone, leaving her discarded laptop. Seeing the four little letters of his name take all the breath out of her as she gapes at it for a long moment, deliberating pinching herself.

Swallowing thickly, she warily thumbs the acceptance button, putting the phone to her ear. "Hello?"

"Raaaaaaaaaach...hi!"

* * *

**AN#2: **Oooooh, cliffie!

Next Chapter: drunk!Finn

THANKS FOR READING AND REVIEW KINDLY! 2 more updates tonight!


	7. Drunk Dial

**Disclaimer: **I don't own GLEE or its characters though I wish I did.

**Author's Note: **Second update! Prepare for some drunk!Finn. I've never been drunk so don't assume things ;) One more update tonight so enjoy this chapter for now! Song credit is 'Hate that I love you' by Rihanna and Ne-yo

* * *

"Finn?" she asks hesitantly. "Where are you?"

"I'm..." He pauses and she thinks for a moment that he's gone. "I'm outside! Where are you?"

"I'm at my house" she replies wearily. "What are you doing outside at..." She checks the time. "Nine forty-five at night? Why aren't you still with Puck?"

"Puck's an ass" he slurs with a laugh. "And I felt sick. Santana slapped me, Rach...she _slapped _me. I didn't do nothing!"

She sighs. "What happened?"

"Hmm..." he muses aloud. "I went to Puck's place 'cause...erm...'cause...you're not gonna like me!"

"I know what you did" she huffs in irritation. "You eavesdropped on Kurt and my conversation."

"Yup" he exclaims proudly. "How'd you know? You're_ so_ smart, Rach...so damn smart!"

"What happened after you got to Puck's?"

"Let me think" he garbles thoughtfully. "I told him wanted to-" He hiccups. "-get drunk off my ass 'cause I felt bad. So he gave me a few drinks and then _everybody _came. Santana tried to sit on my lap and I-_oomph_! Whoops! I didn't see that pothole!" He laughs loudly.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm trying to find your house, silly!" he declares. "But it's really dark and I don't remember which was your house is!"

"Don't go anywhere, Finn" she orders. "Stay right where you are. Can you see a street sign anywhere?"

"Umm..." She can tell he's looking around in his incoherent state. "I see that I'm walking down a big long street! I think it says...Oak Trail..."

"Okay, stay right there" she demands, hopping off her bed and grabbing her jacket. "I'm coming to get you."

"Hooray!" he says excitedly. "I miss you, Rach!"

She freezes, her chest tightening. He said he missed her. He told Santana that he wanted her to be Rachel Berry. He called her Rachel.

She _hates_ him.

"Where'd you go?" he inquires sadly.

"I miss you, too, Finn" she whispers after a moment. "Stay right there."

"'Kay...see ya soon! Love you!"

She swallows thickly, the words so cheerily spoken while layered in a slur break her heart further. Finn's either an honest-as-hell drunk or a crazy son-of-a-bitch. Either way, the words still hit her hard.

"Bye, Finn." With that, she hangs up and sighs deeply. Why was she doing this for him? Why did he have to keep doing this to her?

Shaking her head because she hates the answer, she bounds down the stairs, calls to her fathers that she'll be out for a drive and jumps in her car. Jamming the key into the ignition and waiting as it roars to life, she turns the radio on as she pulls out of her driveway.

_"And I hate how much I love you boy  
I can't stand how much I need you  
And I hate how much I love you boy  
But I just can't let you go  
And I hate that I love you so..."_

"Aw, _hell._"

* * *

**AN#2: **Short but intense haha!

Next Chapter: more drunk!Finn...it'll be a one

REVIEW NICELY AND THANKS FOR READING!


	8. Intoxicated

**Disclaimer: **I don't own GLEE or its characters though I wish I did.

**Author's Note: **PHEW! Third and last update of the night! Loving this chapter personally. Hope you guys do, too! Thanks for reading and enjoy! LOVE TI ALL!

* * *

She turns onto Oak Trail, sharply, taking a shaky breath. She scans the sidewalks quickly, searching for his familiar frame. When she doesn't spot him after a minute or so, she begins to panic. Where could he be? Is he okay?

He questions are answered when her headlights sweep over him, sitting on the curb as he picks at the ground. He looks up, a huge dazed smile lighting his flawless face as he waves spastically. She grimaces, all hope that he meant what he said vanishing from her thoughts as she parks.

Getting hurriedly out of the silver Volvo, she jogs over to him as he stumbles to get to his feet. "Hey you" he exclaims brightly. "You came!"

"Of course I came" she mumbles, helping him up.

"Of course you did" he laughs. "'Cause you're_ awesome_...you're _so_ awesome, Rach. Did I ever tell you that? 'Cause you are..._you're so awesome_!"

"Thanks" she mutters. "You sure like that word."

"Yup" he says proudly. "I like a lot of things!"

"Come on" she murmurs. "Let me take you home."

He slides an arm around her shoulders and she relishes in the feel of his warm body pressed against hers. She's missed his touch...missed _him_. Having him so close to her again makes her eyes well up, winding an arm around his waist to steady him and for her own comfort.

He stops suddenly, a hand shooting to his mouth. "Hold on a sec" he says quickly. "I think I'm gonna..."

He sprints away and she instantly feels cold. She watches as he rushes to a nearby bush and bends over, emptying his stomach. With a sad sigh, knowing he won't remember a thing in the morning nor feel the electricity that crackled between them mere seconds ago, she walks over and kneels down beside him, rubbing soothing circles on his tense back muscles.

He finally pulls back after a few minutes, panting. She grabs a tissue out of her pocket and turns his face toward her, wiping his mouth gently. The corners of his lips quirk upward in a breathtaking smile and she finds herself returning it softly. They stare at each other intensely for a long moment and she gets lost in his warm cinnamon irises. He's so beautiful. She misses being able to just bask in the glow of his beauty and hold his hand.

She's sees his face leaning closer, eyes slipping closed. She unconsciously closes her eyes as well, wanting it. Wanting to feel his lips on hers again. Wanting to feel his body close to hers.

She remembers where she is just before their lips can touch and ducks away instantly, his lips pressing against her cheek. He grumbles in disappointment and she turns crimson. "So...let's get you home" she suggests quietly.

He frowns deeply and she fights a smile. He's so adorable. "Okay" he agrees, his voice distant. She pulls him to his feet and he stumbles a bit but she steadies him by wrapping an arm around his waist. He falls onto her lazily with a guffaw and she chuckles slightly, groaning. "You smell _so_ good" he declares, pressing his nose to her hair. The heat radiating from his body makes her inhale shakily, wanting nothing more than to snuggle into his embrace, bury her face in his neck and get rid of her horribly broken heart.

She guides him steadily into the passenger seat, making sure he's in before closing the door. She scolds herself for falling under his spell again as she walks around to the driver's side. When she gets in and jams her key in the ignition, his startled gasp freezes her.

"Your eye" he cries horrified. "It's so..._black_!"

"I know" she says annoyed. "That's because your girlfriend beat me up."

"She's not my girlfriend anymore" he slurs. "I hate her! She doesn't like me no more 'cause I told her I wished she was you! I don't know why she got so mad...it's a compliment! You're _so_ awesome!"

"Why'd you say that?" she inquires softly, eyes focused on the road.

"'Cause it's true" he says matter-of-factly. "I hate her and I love you! Simple!"

She remains silent, watching out of the corner of her eye as his head lolls to the side, bumping against the window as he groans. "I feel so sick" he whines.

"Because you drank like a fish" she says gently. She exhales loudly. "Why'd you go and drink, Finn?"

"'Cause I heard what you said to Kurt" he replies garbled. "You sounded so sad and I hate it when you're sad! I wanted to forget _all_ about it!"

She gnaws on her lip, processing his words.

"Why didn't you let me kiss you?"

She freezes in shock, nearly slamming on the brakes. She swallows nervously, turning to look at his expectant, pouting face. She blinks rapidly, absolutely flustered. "Umm..." she stammers. "We're not together anymore, Finn."

"So what?" he asks rhetorically. "We kissed lots of times when we weren't together! Why not now?"

She sighs, still shocked. "For so many reasons."

"Like what?"

She huffs. "You're drunk and you won't remember a thing in the morning. I don't want to kiss you and then have my heart broken for the billionth time when you tell me it was a mistake. And...and you should hate me. Why'd you want to kiss me?"

"So many reasons" he teases with a loud, slurring laugh. "You're really, _really_ hot and beautiful and I wanna touch you _all the time_..." She blushes deeply. "You're so smart and funny and awesome and amazing and awesome. And I love you so much! And I miss you a lot! And I love you so much...did I say that already? I don't care 'cause I love you! Those are lots of good reasons for me to kiss you!"

Her lips part in surprise as she turns into his driveway. Once she parks, she takes a moment to think, swallowing uneasily. "Are you sure you really mean that, Finn?" she questions softly, avoiding his gaze.

"Of course I mean it" he replies, sounding offended. "How could I not mean it? I said it out loud!"

He laughs again and she deflates, knowing he'd never admit that sober. "Come on" she says, heaving a sigh as she gets out of the car.

She helps him out and guides him to his house. He stumbles with each step, holding her closer each time and she relishes in it secretly, knowing that being this close to him wouldn't happen again.

"Do you have your key?" she asks when they approach the door.

"Nope" he answers, not removing his arm from around her shoulders. "Just the car key!"

She grimaces, raising a fist and knocking. She hasn't seen Carole or Burt in so long. They probably hate her. She can't blame them...she did this to Finn, after all.

The door swings open seconds later, startling her, and Carole puts a hand over her heart, releasing a long exhale of relief. She gives the woman a small smile. "Hi, Mrs. Hudson" she greets timidly. "I believe this belongs to you..." She gestures to Finn's slumping, lazy frame.

"Oh, thank goodness" Carole breathes. "Thank you so much, honey! You know you can call me Carole and- oh, goodness what happened to your eye!"

When the woman glances at her son, horrified she's quick to defend. "Oh, no, no, no it wasn't Finn" she assures quickly, solacing Carole. "Umm...I was confronted today and..." She chuckles lightly. "It didn't end very well."

Carole grimaces sympathetically. "Oh, that's terrible...who was it?"

She hesitates, adjusting Finn's position from slipping. "Erm...Santana Lopez."

The woman gasps loudly. "I can't stand that girl" she says angrily. "I'm sorry, Rachel."

She shrugs, feigning indifference. "It happens."

Carole laughs before sighing sadly. "I'm sorry you had to deal with him" she apologizes in disappointment. "Where was he? How'd you find him?"

"He was at Noah Puckerman's" she replies softly. "And I found out through Facebook. I don't go on there a lot but...I was desperate because I was worried about him." She bites her lip, chancing a glance at the woman she sees as a mother. "Then he called me and I went to pick him up. He's a tad intoxicated."

Her face falls as she glances at her son in dismay. "Oh, Finn...why?"

He smiles sluggishly with a shrug. "Lots of reasons" he slurs. "Right, Rach?"

She frowns, sliding out of his grasp. He pouts when he's pulled away from her by his mom and she can't tear her eyes away from him for some reason.

"Thank you so much, Rachel" Carole says suddenly, snapping her out of her trance. She looks at the woman and smiles gently.

"No problem" she says quietly. "I should be going..."

"Wait" Finn exclaims, stopping her. "Mom I know you're mad and all but can Rach stay for a minute? I don't think I can get to bed by myself."

"You've caused Rachel enough trouble" she tells him seriously.

"Please" he begs like a child.

"It's fine, Carole" she says with a tentative grin. She laughs lightly. "I'll put him to bed."

Carole smiles warmly. "Thank you." She turns to looks at Finn. "You need to stop making a fool of yourself...we'll talk in the morning."

"Thanks, momma" he says brightly, grabbing her hand. "C'mon, Rach!"

Carole rolls her eyes and makes a face as if to apologize. She smiles in reassurance as Finn tugs her up the stairs with him, staggering each step. When they reach his room and he flies in, she stays frozen at the door, her chest tightening.

How long has it been since she was in his room? It feels like centuries. She takes a moment to just look around the small, cramped room, thousands of memories flooding her thoughts.

She smiles at the short, narrow bed and remembers walking in on an early morning during the summer to see him asleep, limbs hanging haphazardly off the edges. She also remembers making out and him falling off the bed when he got too eager.

She looks at the cowboy wallpaper and almost laughs at how Finn it is.

The thing that gets to her the most is seeing how cluttered it is. It was always messy before but now it was a disaster. Clothes litter the floor, his video games lay forgotten by the TV, books are scattered all over his desk and his sheets are twisted and unmade.

She has the urge to clean it like she used to while he'd play video games but she resists it, almost forgetting he's still there. When she turns to look at him, he smiles at her and her heart flutters involuntarily at the sheer beauty of him. "Do you want to go wash up?" she asks gently.

He nods enthusiastically as bounds out of the room to the bathroom. She feels awkward just standing so she navigates through the jungle that is his room, deciding against cleaning. It would just give her more pain.

A box shoved messily under the chair by his bed ignites her curiousity as she bends down and reaches for it, sinking into the seat and placing it on her lap. She removes the mid carefully and almost drops it all together when she sees what's inside.

It's everything about them.

Pictures, notes and momentos are all stuffed in this shoe box. She sits shocked for a long moment, just gaping at it in disbelief.

Regaining some composure, she picks up the photo on the top and with shaky fingers, runs a finger tip over it as if to see if it's real. It's wrinkled and crusty from dried tears and that makes her lip wobble. The picture is of them at a Hudson family party during the summer. She remembers Kurt snapping the picture when they weren't looking. She's sitting on his lap, arms wound around his neck. His arm is tight around her waist while the other hand is on her thigh. His face isn't fully visible, hidden in her hair but she can tell he's grinning. She stares at herself and her eyes flood with tears instantly.

She looks _so_ happy. Her smile is huge and adoring. Her eyes are bright and joyous. She hasn't been that happy in so long. The girl in the picture is an absolute stranger.

She swallows the lump in her throat and covers her mouth with her hand to muffle the quiet sob that leaves her lips. He kept this...he kept it all. They were so happy together. They both made mistakes but they loved each other anyway. Since then, she's never been truly happy.

The sound of his heavy footfalls catch her attention as she hastily wipes the tears away, wincing when she touches her black eye as he returns. "All washed up" he announces proudly. "I brushed my teeth and-" He freezes when he sees her face and the box on her lap. "W-what...are you okay? I...uh..."

"You kept this" she says quietly.

"Of course I did" he says softly and she can here the sincerity in his tone behind the slur. "How could I get rid of my best memories?"

She stares at him, lips parted in surprise. "Your best memories?" she asks tentatively.

"My best" he confirms striding closer. He kneels in front of her and gazes at her intensely. "You made me _so_ damn happy, Rach."

She doesn't bother to hide the tears that stream down her cheeks as she averts her gaze to her lap. "You made me really happy, too, Finn" she whispers honestly.

His large, warm hand on her cheek makes her look up as he brushes a thumb across her cheek delicately, catching her tears. "Please don't cry" he breathes pleadingly and she's shocked to see that he's tearing up. His voice is strained when he continues. "I hate it when you're sad."

She closes her eyes and leans into his touch with a gentle exhale, allowing herself to just feel for a moment. She tries to forget that he won't remember a thing in the morning and that it may just be the alcohol talking but eventually, takes his hand in hers and gives it a squeeze before releasing it. He sniffles as they both get to their feet.

"I should get going..." she murmurs reluctantly.

"You know I'm really unhappy" he admits blatantly. She remains silent her heart pounding loudly in her ears. "Ever since we broke up I've been really miserable. You were the only thing that made me happy. And now...my life sucks."

She ducks her head sadly, shuffling her feet. "Mine too" she says softly. She backs up slowly and ruefully toward the door, fighting more tears. "Goodnight, Finn..."

"Don't go" he calls and she freezes again, turning to look at him. "Please just stay...I'm really sleepy but I miss you and-and-and-"

"Okay" she interrupts. "I'll stay for a bit longer."

His triumphant smile makes her heart soar. She tells him she's going to get him Aspirin and slips out of the room, striding quickly to the bathroom. She rifles through the medicine cabinet and grabs the desired object before closing it. Before she can go, she takes a long look at herself in the mirror. She grimaces at how lifeless she looks.

_You know I'm really unhappy._

His words echo in her head as she examines her shiner briefly before sighing dejectedly, turning off the light and heading back to his room.

She enters the room absently but stops dead when she sees him. The bottle of Aspirin clatters to the floor but she's numb to it, her mouth going dry.

He's laying on his bed, hands behind his head and it's casual and cute aside from one key aspect.

He's only in his boxers.

She gawks at him, eyes scanning his body. His muscular chest rises and falls with each breath, his pecks and abs firm and sculpted. His biceps are large and strong and she takes a moment to simply worship the glorious man before her.

He sits up and sends her a large, drowsy smile that takes her breath away. She shakes her head slightly to regain her composure, fighting the urge to tackle him and shower him with kisses while running her hands over his perfect body. He was insane to ever think he was anything less than perfect...

"You okay?"

She blinks repetitively and stammers blankly for a moment before nodding, words failing her, as she bends over to pick up the Aspirin. She brings it over and unscrews the cap, taking two into her palm. She offers them to him and he accepts them, grabbing the water bottle on his bed side table and downing them in two swigs. She watches him, trying not to trail her eyes lower and is stunned when he pulls her down to a sitting position on the bed.

He keeps a hand around her waist as he places the bottle back on the nightstand as if to keep her from leaving. He glides his hand up her back, finger tracing her spine and she lets him, melting into a puddle from the feel. His fingers weave into her hair and he simply gazes at her, leaving her breathless.

The love and adoration that burns in his cinnamon irises make her mouth go dry again because it's been so long since she's seen him look at her like that. Oh, how she loves it.

"You're so beautiful, Rachel" he whispers genuinely. "So gorgeous..."

Before she can understand what's going on, their lips meet and she falls into the bottomless pit that is Finn Hudson, not caring that she'll never get out.

Maybe she doesn't want to.

* * *

**AN#2: **CLIFFIE!

Next Chapter: The Aftermath

THANKS FOR READING AND PLEASE REVIEW KINDLY! GOODNIGHT AND LOVE TO ALL!


	9. Remember Me

**Disclaimer: **I don't own GLEE or its characters though I wish I did.

**Author's Note: **Hey everyone! Thanks for reading, alert-ing and reviewing! Tonight will be a one-update night because I have to be up at 5:25am tomorrow for a tournament and last night was a BIG update night including a 3,000 word chapter! Tomorrow night will be better...I promise. Anyways enjoy this chapter!

* * *

His lips are soft on hers, melting into her. He's gentle and sweet but passion crackles between them. So many unsaid things are passed silently between them, making things okay for a moment. They pretend that they weren't broken and that they're the only two people in the universe.

_I miss you. I love you. I'm sorry._

She finds herself humming into his warm mouth, wanting more. The kiss is slow and addictive, laced with so much hope. She allows herself to revel in his touch, forgetting all the hurt he's put her through. She likes drunk Finn more than sober Finn at the moment.

He moans softly and a shiver rattles through her body at the dizzying sound. She cradles his perfect face in her hand while the only traces down the smooth planes of his chest and he holds her close by the waist, pulling her gently into his chest. It's calming and absolutely serene.

When oxygen becomes a necessity, they break apart and he presses his forehead against hers, closing his eyes as he breathes heavily as if to relish in the moment. She opens her mouth to speak with nothing to say but he's quick to press another delicate kiss to her swollen lips. It's not to get her to be quiet, it's just sweet and loving.

He pulls back after a moment and to her utter surprise, her embraces her tightly, burying his face in her neck. She blinks in bewilderment for a moment before wrapping her arms around his neck and hugging him. His scent relaxes her immensely and she allows a tear to shed at how loved she feels.

A thought that makes her stiff creeps into her mind as her arms go slack around his neck.

He's drunk...he won't remember...it may not be true.

It took him a ton of alcohol to admit that he still loved her. He was mean and selfish and abandoned her when he was sober. She apologized selflessly and begged for his forgiveness but he brushed her off. She obeyed his wishes for her to leave him alone, letting him know he'd always have her heart. He knew she loved him with everything she had and he rubbed salt in the wound by running off with the girl who makes it her duty to put her through hell. He laughed at her pain. He mortified her by singing that stupid song and banned the whole club against her. He crushed her heart in his palm.

With that horrible realization or assumption (she wishes it was the latter) she breaks away from him, avoiding his questioning gaze. "I really have to go" she whispers, sliding out of his grasp. "It's late and you need sleep."

His eyes are forlorn as he seems to realize she's leaving. "Can't you stay?" he asks hushed.

"My dads are probably freaking out" she murmurs. "I want to stay...I-I..." She swallows with a deep sigh. "But I'll see you tomorrow."

The hot, sharp slash of pain that burns her chest makes it hard to breathe as she gets to her feet. Smoothing out her skirt, she bites her lip in contemplation before leaning down and kissing his forehead softly. Her lips linger for a moment before she pulls back and caresses his face gently in an act of goodbye. He seems to understand because his eyes widen as he sits up, shaking his head violently. "I won't forget" he says seriously and desperately. "I won't...I won't let myself...I-"

She smiles sadly with a shrug. "I hope you don't forget" she purrs. "But I don't have control and neither do you." She looks down and sighs. "But I won't forget."

His eyes are watery when she looks at him again. "Remind me" he breathes. "Please if I forget...remind me..."

Looking at his teary cinnamon eyes, she finds herself nodding with an soft: "okay."

He smiles angelically and she can't help it, she leans forward and presses another kiss to his lips. He reciprocates tenderly, an unrealistic promise in his kiss. When she pulls back, managing to muster a genuine smile, he kisses her swollen, blackened eye lid affectionately. It makes her chest tighten as she gets up and heads for the door feeling his eyes prickle her back.

She turns toward him as she opens the door, sending him one last soft smile. "Sweet dreams, Finn" she murmurs.

"I love you" he calls in all drunken honesty. "I'll always love you, Rachel. More than life." He exhales shakily. "Do you still love me?"

Her lips wobbles as she hears the words she's been dying to hear. "Of course I love you" she says truthfully. "Always have and always will...more than anything. I'm forever yours-"

"Faithfully" he coos.

She nods emotionally with a light laugh. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

She closes the door, unable to take another moment as she fights a break down. He's never spoken to her like that in so long. She misses it...misses that Finn.

Summoning up the courage, she walks away from his room, knowing deep down that it would be another long while until Finn says things to her like that and kisses her so meaningfully again.

* * *

**AN#2: **Awwwwwwwwwww I love drunk!Finn...he's so honest ;)

Next Chapter: Carole and Rachel convo...filler

THANKS FOR READING AND PLEASE REVIEW! Sorry it's a short update night but I NEED SLEEP! haha


	10. Considerations

**Disclaimer: **I don't own GLEE or its characters though I wish I did.

**Author's Note: **Hey people! Thanks for all the reviews, alerts and reads! I'm EXHAUSTED from my tournament but I managed to finish two chapters for you guys so YOUR WELCOME haha just kidding...I love you guys! So a double update night...ENJOY!

* * *

She timidly walks past the Hudson/Hummel kitchen, peeking in to see Carole looking distressed as she sits at the kitchen table. She misses the woman a lot. She misses the warmth a mother was supposed to provide that radiates naturally from her. She misses the denim.

"Umm..." she stammers, gaining the woman's attention as she stands awkwardly at the doorway. "He's tucked in safely. I should get going...it was great to see you again."

"Thank you, Rachel" Carole says authentically. "I really miss having you around here. Finn functions a lot better with you...he's so sad now. And that causes him to make horrible decisions."

"I miss it, too" she admits. Carole gestures to a seat across from her and she timidly accepts. She stays quiet for a few moments, enjoying the woman's company. "You have to know" she murmurs finally. "I hate myself for hurting him. I made a huge mistake and it cost me the world..." She falls silent, biting her lip to supress tears. "He was my world...he still is. And I did what I did so carelessly because I was in such a bad place. I didn't know what to believe anymore and I started to doubt everything. I noticed my flaws and I noticed how Finn thought she was hot and I-I...I snapped. I was selfish and mean and-"

Carole places a hand over hers and gives her an understanding look. "You weren't mean" she coos. "You took responsibilty for it and apologized which is a huge sign of maturity. And it's one of the hardest things to do. My son is a good boy but he's made many mistakes...I know. But he really has changed since he met you." She laughs lightly. "I remember the first time he talked about you. His whole face lit up and he rambled and he blushed. And the first time I met you, I knew you were going to make him a better person." She smiles softly at the memory before sighing sadly. "You both made mistakes but Finn's never made up for them. Sometimes you kind of have to learn the hard way. Finn's never had to with you. And that's something he's taking advantage of."

She nods sullenly as they sit in silence for a moment. "You know what hurts the most?" she asks quietly. "It hurts that he's with her now after telling me she meant nothing. She gave me this stupid shiner and she ridicules and bullies me and he has to go to her." She runs a hand over her face with a bitter, emotional laugh. "I kept telling myself that it was karma but...I don't think it is."

Carole grimaces. "I've never been so disappointed in him" she says with a slow shake of the head. "I met her the other day. She was rude and disrespectful, thinking she was eminent in _my_ house, and Finn was horrible around her. I actually asked her to leave. I'm so angry with Finn. We haven't spoken much since because I told him that you were the only person who made him truly happy and that he wasn't fooling any one. And I told him that he can forget about bringing any other girlfriends into this house again unless it was you." She laughs sheepishly. "I just know Finn. And I'm not tolerating that."

She laughs gently with the woman. "I really love him, Carole" she murmurs honestly. "I've been trying really hard to gain his forgiveness and make him happy but I'm not getting anywhere." She stares absently at the flower centerpiece, and shrugs distantly. "And to be honest, I don't really know who I am anymore. My world just fell apart abruptly and left me to pick up the pieces but I don't know how to reassemble myself...do you know what I mean?"

Carole nods with a small, sad smile. "Maybe you're the one that needs time" she suggests, sounding idle.

She ponders that for a few lingering moments. Time. She's never had that before. She's been jumping through hoops to make everyone else happy and she's completely forgotten about herself. She hasn't had time to figure her needs.

But Finn said he'd remember...said he wanted to remember. She needs him. He needs her. Maybe they don't need any time at all.

She manages to smile slightly. "Maybe" she says softly.

A knowing glint flashes in the woman's eyes as she gives her hand a gentle squeeze. "I should get going" she says finally, getting to her feet. "It was so nice seeing you again. And thank you...for everything. For being the mother I never had."

Carole embraces her tightly with an emotional beam. "Any time, honey" she coos. "I'll always be here for you. Please drop by any time...soon, please."

"Of course."

They break apart and she gives the woman one last smile before leaving the warm Hudson/Hummel home, hoping that things will go up from here.

Key word: _hoping_.

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**AN#2: **I love Rachel/Carole = Daughter/Mother...or more like in-laws that are very close ;)

Next Chapter: A lot of angst!

REVIEW THIS CHAPTER AND THE NEXT!


	11. Maybe

**Disclaimer: **I don't own GLEE or its characters though I wish I did.

**Author's Note: **Last chapter of the night! IT'S A BIG ONE! Sorry if it's bad but I'mdyingofexhaustion. WARNING: ANGSTY! I couldn't help myself! This story might be longer than I expected! Anyways, enjoy!

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She wrings her hands and gnaws nervously on her lip, glancing down the hall again. When she doesn't see him, she exhales shakily and wipes her sweaty palms on her skirt, scolding herself to calm down.

It's been so long since she's waited for him by his locker...it's extremely nerve-racking. She's so damn nervous. And worried. It makes her feel sick. Will he remember? What will he say if she reminds him? Will everything be okay again?

Confronting your ex-boyfriend and trying to convince him you shared a passionate kiss and declared your undying love for each other while he was drunk off his ass is something she'd thought she'd never do. However when Finn Hudson is in the equation, anything can happen.

She sees his looming frame and her heart pounds loudly in her ears. He looks so hungover it's not even funny. He looks like a zombie. But he's still beautiful as he traipses gloomily and sleepily down the hall, yawning widely.

She swallows thickly as she replays her words over in her head and when he spots her by his locker, a look of shock graces his stunning face. Her heart jumps. It quickly morphs into a guarded mask as he stomps over, a bitter sneer on his lips.

Her chest tightens severely when the realization hits her: he doesn't remember. He's maintaing his hatred and sour facade. Her face falls instantly, suddenly becoming shy as he approaches, ignoring her.

"Hi" she squeaks timidly.

"Why are you talking to me?" he challenges curtly. "I have to get to my locker."

"I-I-I...umm" she stammers helplessly. She clears her throat anxiously and laughs nervously but he doesn't budge. "I was just wondering if you're feeling okay this morning?"

"Why do you care?" he snaps angrily.

"Because you called me last night" she mumbles. "And I drove you home."

His jaw drops incredulously but he quickly closes it, rolling his eyes. "So what?" he questiosn rhetorically. "I was drunk off my ass...it's not like it meant anything. My mom told me anyways. I didn't believe her but whatever." He gives her an annoyed look. "Can you move? You're standing in front of my locker."

"You don't remember anything from last night, do you?" she inquires softly and sadly.

"No" he replies, sounding suspicious. "Why?"

She deliberates for a long moment before sighing. "I did more than drive you home, Finn" she murmurs. "You told me you loved me. I found the box of stuff under your chair that had all of our memories and you told me they were your best. They were my best, too. You told me you were unhappy. Then we kissed and it was _so real_, Finn." She chokes up. "It was _perfect_. And I told you I loved you, too and you promised you wouldn't forget. You said that if you did, you wanted me to remind you." She stares desperately at his shocked face. "You believe me, don't you?"

He opens and closes his mouth blankly for a minute before furrowing his brow and shaking his head angrily. "You're lying" he growls. "I don't believe you. Is this your desperate attempt to get me to forgive you or something? Are you really that _pathetic_?"

Tears flood her eyes from the sting of his words. "No, Finn" she says emotionally, her voice breaking. "I'm telling the truth. You have to believe me...things were looking up. We were honest. _Please_-"

"Even if it had happened" he snarls, cutting her off. "I wouldn't tell you that I loved you. Even if I was so drunk that I thought jumping off a bridge would be a good idea, I wouldn't say I loved you and I wouldn't kiss you. Booze isn't truth syrum. I don't love you, Rachel. I don't need you. When are you going to get that through your head?"

His harsh words burn her as she begins to openly sob, shaking her head. "You're the one who's lying" she cries grabbing his arm. "Stop denying it! Enough with the games! We _love_ each other-"

He scoffs. "I can't believe you're that obsessed with me" he says mockingly, glaring lividly at her as she pulls on his arm. "Just stop stalking me...you're not going to get me back. And a little tip, Rachel: if you weren't suck a _freak_...maybe someone would actually like you!"

Her hands falls limply off of him and he shakes it off all the way as she takes a step back, the tears becoming merciless. "Did you just call me a freak?" she whispers in disbelief.

He freezes as he opens the door, his eyes widening. He remains silent but frozen, unsure of what to say.

"Out of everyone I know" she breathes, her voice broken. "I never thought you'd call me that or say I'm those things." She shakes her head, her chest heaving. "I can't believe you'd say something like that."

He turns toward her, his eyes frightened and regretful. "I-I didn't mean that" he stammerstaking a step closer. "I didn't mean it like that, Rach..."

He reaches out for her but he shakes him off, almost in a scared manner. She shakes her head in devastation, crossing her arms self-consciously across her chest and opening her mouth, wanting to say something but no words could describe how hurt she feels. He stares at her blankly and she finally gives into the sobs that rack her body, sprinting down the hall ignoring the perplexed or snickering students around her.

She flies into the bathroom and collapses once she enters, crying into her hands.

A freak. Everyone calls her it. It's never killed her emtionally.

But the person she loves called her a freak and it's so heart-wrenching, she can't breathe. The reason it hurts beyond possibility is the thought that creeps into her mind, making a fresh batch of tears cascade down her cheeks:

Maybe she _is_ a freak.

* * *

**AN#2: **ANGST! So sad, eh? Hope I didn't disappoint...it'll get better soon, people! I promise :)

Next Chapter: ? Maybe a certain someone realizing they need TIME and...something awesome ;)

REVIEW! THANKS FOR READING! GOING TO BED NOW! MWAH!


	12. Going the Distance

**Disclaimer: **I don't own GLEE or its characters though I wish I did.

**Author's Note: **Hey everyone! Thanks for all the reviews! PHEW...last chapter was INTENSE! Believe me...FINN'S GONNA SUFFER :) Anyways enjoy this chapter and I might have 2 more chapters up tonight...one more for sure. My nose is killing me from getting a ball in the face yesterday which is causing me a MASSIVE head ache but I'm really into this story! I WANNA GET 100 REVIEWS (at some point haha) ENJOY! I like this chapter.

* * *

9 new voicemails.

_ "Hey Rachel, it's Artie. Are you okay? I haven't seen you around today and everyone's wondering where you are for Glee. I hope you're okay. Please call me back or text me or something because I'm worried. What happened last night? Call me...I'm here for you. Talk to you soon. Bye."_

_ "Hey Berry, it's Puck. Where are you? Are you dead or something? Hope not. I know I haven't talked to you in a while and all but I hope you're okay. Hudson's throwing a fit so can you save us all and call someone to tell them where you are? Umm...okay...bye."_

_ "Hello darling, it's Kurt. Call me. Tell me what happened last night. Bye."_

_ "Hey Rachel, it's Artie again. What's going on? Everyone's acting weird. What happened last night? Why is Finn freaking out and pouting? I'm really worried. Call me back, please. Bye."_

_ "Rachel, you're freaking me out. You always have your phone on. Call me back! My stepbrother just got home and he's hiding in his room again playing classic 80's rock. Help me! Call me!"_

_ "Rachel this isn't funny anymore...I'm worried sick! What happened last night, darling? Tell me! Blaine's worried, too. Call me or text me...at least tell me you're alive. Seriously, I'm freaking out."_

_ "It's Artie again. What's happening? I'm scared. Call me or text me please! I called Kurt and he's freaking out. Please, Rachel. Okay, call me. Bye."_

_ "Rachel Barbara Berry if you don't call me back this instant I am going to call 911! Or I'm coming over and breaking in! What did my stupid stepbrother do? TELL ME! Please, Rachel. Call."_

_ "Hey Rach, it's me...umm...it's Finn. Well I think you knew that. Umm...where are you? I've been looking for you and you weren't at Glee and-and-and I'm...I'm worried. I didn't mean it, Rach. I-I was just angry and-and I can't remember a thing and I checked Puck's Facebook and I called Santana your name so I don't really know what's going on. Just call me back, okay? Please? Okay...bye."_

13 text messages.

*Hey Rachel. i know i don't really talk 2 u but i was wondering if ur ok. i haven't seen u around much. k bye -Sam*

_ *_It's me again. what's happening? i'm worried. plz call me or text me ok? i just need 2 know ur ok. -Artie*

_ *_It's me Rach. u didn't respond 2 my message so i'm kinda scared cuz u always have ur phone on. anyways plz call me back. -Finn*

*RACHEL BERRY WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU! i am this close to calling the cops. if this is a joke so help me! i'm scared! plz call me, darling. -Kurt*

*Hi Rachel. r u okay? i haven't seen u 2day & everyone's freaking out. we missed u Glee. hope i c u 2morrow rehearsal. bye. -Mike*

*Rach call me so i can tell u the english assignment. i know how u like 2 be ahead. -Finn*

*Rachel plz, plz, plz call me back. tell me what happened. -Artie*

*My stupid stepbrother locked me out of his room and is not responding to my excessive screaming. what's going on! plz call me. plz contact me. i'm almost crying. -Kurt*

*C'mon Rach. i'm sorry, ok? stop this...i'm worried. just let me know ur ok. kurt is freaking out. plz Rach. i'm serious. -Finn*

*RACHEL. I'M SERIOUS. -Kurt*

*ok i'm losing it. CALL PLZ. i'm scared. -Artie*

*Rach...i need u 2 pick up the phone. plz. we need 2 talk. -Finn*

*Rach this isn't funny. PICK UP THE PHONE. please. -Finn*

She scans over the last message and growls loudly, snapping her hand back and throwing her cell phone blindly as tears blur her vision. It smacks against the wall and falls to the carpet to silence the messages for good. The quiet is eerie for a moment but is filled when she huffs loudly, her face twisting again. She flops back on her head and curls up, closing her eyes tightly in attempt to disappear from the buzzing world around her.

She stayed in the bathroom or the majority of the day before deciding to just go home. She didn't care about her classes or Glee Club. She just ran away to forget. She couldn't face the world.

_If you weren't suck a freak...maybe someone would actually like you!_

She squeezes her eyes shut tighter as his words echo in her head. His words so harshly spoken. The words she's heard thousands of times hurting her so severely when spoken by him. If the person she loves more than anything thinks she's a freak, maybe she is one.

She rolls over and rubs a hand over her face with a loud exhale. She's done so much for him. She loved him with everything she had. She told him so every chance she had. She worked so hard to make him happy. She jumped through hoops. She forgave him for every stupid mistake he made. She forgave him before he apologized which was rare. She let him come up with excuses so he didn't have to apologize. She let him slide out of her grasp on his hand when he saw popular people around. She loved him despite his love for his reputation. She went to all his football games and cheered him on. She let him blow her off for parties. She let him walk all over her. She let him tell her all her flaws. She worked hard to be what he wanted. She let him touch her and kiss her the way no one else has. She did everything for him selflessly.

He took her for granted. He accused her of being selfish, prude and scary. He used her. He manipulated her. He abandoned her. He checked Santana out. He didn't apologize or take responsibility for anything he did. He blamed her. He didn't care about her needs. He was selfish. He lead her on. He was embarrassed if they ever got caught holding hands by the popular people. He never walked her to her classes. He forgot things and didn't listen constantly. He hurt her too many times carelessly. He left her when she made one stupid mistake. He called her a_ freak_.

She releases another strangled sob. Why is this so hard? He was mean and selfish and neglected her needs. She should hate him.

But she doesn't because she could also be bossy and controlling. She could be selfish and could over-talk. She could be demanding. She could be overbearing. But he was patient. He was kind. He was sweet and funny. He was adorable and clueless at times. He said 'I love you' a few times.

But it was always when they were alone. When no one was looking. When he wasn't scared of what people would think. The second someone would appear, her Finn would vanish. He did the bare minimum.

She sits up and buries her face in her hands, wishing the tears would stop. They continue to slide down her cheeks and blur her vision mercilessly. She can't stand it anymore.

_Maybe you're the one that needs time._

She slowly raises her head as Carole's words replay in her head. Time. Time to find who she is. Time to meet her needs and be happy. Time to be Rachel Berry. Time to think of herself first.

Time to leave him behind.

She needs it. She needs time. She needs to find out who she is and be happy. She needs to pick herself up, dust herself off and face the world on her own.

With a slight determined nod of the head, she reaches over and yanks open the drawer of her nightstand. She pulls out her gold pen and unused journal and with a new-found willpower, starts to scribble furiously.

**FINDING RACHEL BERRY**

**1. Clean my room**

**2. Put all things associating with Finn Hudson in a box and stuff it on the top shelf of my closet**

**3. Quit New Directions**

**4. Try to explore different hobbies (take a break from performing)**

**5. Leave Finn Hudson behind**

She reads over her list and smiles, ready to finally break free of the burdens. She doesn't know what lies ahead but maybe that's what she needs right now. Instead of planning every second of every day, she needs to try to go with the flow. She needs to find out who she is without the titles and labels that people constantly bombard her with.

She's wounded and hurt and mortified. But she knows she'll be okay. She's not a freak. She's different. People's opinions don't matter. Only hers does.

Walking over to pick up her phone, she decides that calling the hysterical Kurt and Artie and telling them her new mentality would be necessary _before_ beginning her list.

* * *

_"I will find my way  
I can go the distance  
I'll be there someday  
If I can be strong  
I know every mile  
Will be worth my while  
I will go almost anywhere  
__To find where I belong..."_

_

* * *

_

**AN#2: **GO RACHEL! Find yourself! haha...quoted "Going the Distance" from Hercules at the end. I thought of that song the other day and just knew it _had_ to be in here.

Next Chapter: Rachel QUITS Glee. dun dun dunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

THANKS FOR READING AND PLEASE REVIEW!


	13. New Directions

**Disclaimer: **I don't own GLEE or its characters though I wish I did.

**Author's Note: **Double update night! This was a big chapter so I put detail into it. I wanna finish this story before I get back to school so I'll start triple udating again...just have to type faster! Thanks for reading and reviewing! ENJOY!

* * *

She treks idly down the hall toward the choir room, preparing for the worst. She doesn't really know what to expect from everyone. Hostility? Joy? Shock? It's unpredictable.

After completing two of the five things on her 'Finding Rachel Berry' list the previous night, she's eager to complete the third task of quitting New Directions. She's nervous as hell because she doesn't want to see him or deal with any of their ignorance or judgment. She wants to be finished with all of it.

But unfortunately that requires announcing it. Maybe it'll release her of a burden in being able to see their expressions when she declares her resignation.

She approaches the choir room door and takes a deep breath. It's now or never. It's time for Rachel Berry to leave New Directions in the dust.

Pushing open the choir room door, she strides into the room with purpose. Everyone turns away from their conversations to look at her and she smiles apprehensively under their stares. Artie gives her a huge smile and a thumbs-up and she returns it, avoiding the rest of the group. She can feel _his_ eyes on her but she tries to ignore it, walking over to Mr. Schue who's looking over sheet music at the piano.

"Excuse me" she murmurs. "Can I say something, Mr. Schue?"

"If it's anything but an apology for rudely skipping practice yesterday and worrying everyone," he says flatly without removing his eyes from the sheets. "You can sit down."

She grinds her teeth, anger sparking. "It's important."

"Well it can wait" he says dismissively, gesturing towards the papers in front of him. He points at the group. "Go sit down."

"No it can't wait" she snaps, gaining his attention fully. He looks up from his papers in surprise. "I have something to say."

"When don't you, RuPaul?" Santana asks as everyone apart from her, Artie and Finn scoff.

"Just shut up, Santana" she says in annoyance. "No one cares what you have to say."

"Rachel" Mr. Schue barks warningly. "You can't talk to someone like that. Just go and sit-"

"You know what, Mr. Schue, you're the biggest hypocrite I've ever met" she says with irritation. "You just heard someone verbally abuse me and then I defend myself and then you decide to step in. Why don't you just admit that you don't like me? It's better than encouraging everyone to make fun of me and yell at me."

"Stop" Mr. Schue shouts. "You cannot speak to me like that."

She laughs bitterly. "Why don't I just say what I need to and then you don't have to worry about me disrespecting everyone, okay?"

Mr. Schue's jaw drops open as she uncharacteristically sneers, turning to face the shocked club. "I'm done" she says with a shrug. "I'm quitting Glee." She doesn't bother to gauge the silence before clicking her tongue as if to say 'yep, it's really happening'. "Alright. That's it. Good luck at Regionals."

She turns to go, hoping that's the end of that but of course, she's stopped. "You can't quit" Finn exclaims. "You love performing!"

She rolls her eyes and continues to walk away from it all. "You're such a drama queen" Mercedes calls. "You're not really done. You just want attention."

"You're so selfish" Tina chimes in as everyone murmurs in agreement. "You can't abandon us! We're your only friends!"

"She won't survive on her own" Santana scoffs. "She's just being a bitch."

Several more things are shouted at her and she feels the anger bubbling and roaring her chest with various things to retaliate with. _What the hell_ she thinks with a sigh, turning around and glowering wearily at them. "Shut _up_" she groans loudly, silencing everyone. "Just please shut up."

She huffs crossing her arms. "Why don't you all stop pretending you know me, okay?" she growls sourly. "Because you don't. You don't know anything. You're all ignorant and judgmental and _so_ self-centered. You all assume I don't get what it's like to be bullied and humiliated and hurt by people when I know it better than any of you. I get that we all get so mortified by all the popular people out there and it's horrible but instead of being grateful that here you're free to be yourself, you all complain and whine about how hard your life is. Then you take it out on me. I have it worse than all of you. I've been used as a slushy target, a punching bag -both emotionally _and_ physically- and as a magnet for insults. But do I complain? No, I don't. I don't because I try to be positive. But you all think that since I'm different and not a frigging _belly-acher_ that I'm a-a-a robot without feelings!

"I'm sick and tired of taking all your crap. The only reason I've hung in this long is because I felt _bad_ for all of you. And I thought that eventually you'd all learn to appreciate everything I do for you. But now I finally learned that you don't have the capability to be considerate people. I thought that someday you'd all realize how treating me the way you do wasn't right but you're all tpo self-centered. You can argue and say you were oblivious to all the turmoil you've put me through but really you did it because you're all malicious.

"I love performing but having to be around you people isn't worth it right now. I invested all my time in Glee Club and in Finn and in pleasing everyone else that I've completely lost who I am. When Finn left me, I didn't know who I was supposed to be. I've lived with labels for so long and now I don't know who I really am. I need to find out who I want to be...not what you all think I am. I need to find my_ inner rockstar_, per se." She gives _him_ an icy, sarcastic glare. "You can all accuse me of being selfish and dramatic but I kept this club together because I wanted _you_ to be happy. I wanted everyone to feel included and accepted but I got the shaft. Losing Finn and being banned against -even _worse_ than usual- by people I thought were my friends put me in the position of an identity crisis because the people who I jumped through hoops for abandoned me. Do you know how that feels? To be hated by everyone and getting bashed every time I open my mouth? No...you don't. You don't know how it feels to be left with a mess and having to pick up the pieces and attempt to repair your life. You don't know how it feels to have no one stand up for you ever. You don't know how it feels to have people telling you to just _die_ already. You don't! So stop pretending your life is harder than mine because it _isn't_!"

She pauses, growling in exasperation. "I'm finished with all of this...this-this twisted _thing_ you call a family! I stayed to make everyone feel included but I'm done allowing you all to push me around. I'm done caring about your happiness before mine. You can all have fun ripping each other's heads off because I'm not your punching bag anymore!"

She turns to her only friend who's smiling proudly at her. "Artie, please don't let these people change you. Don't let them walk all over you because they'll just take advantage of it and before you know it, you'll be in the position I'm in now." Artie smirks with a nod. She then turns toward a flustered Mr. Schue with a bitter glare. "Mr. Schue, I have nothing else to say to you except that I'm finished letting you take out all your angst on me. As for the rest of you..." She turns back toward the crowd with a shrug and a phony salute. "This is goodbye. Despite everything you've all done to me, I wish you luck. I don't wish you harm or bad fortune but I'm done pretending we're a family because we're not. Before you start to make even more assumptions, I'd like to inform you that I'm taking a break from performing..._not_ betraying you and going the Vocal Adrenaline or something. I'm doing you all a favour, too...you won't have to listen to me anymore." With a sigh, her hard mask softens. "I guess I'll see you around."

Without waiting for anymore reactions, she gives them all one last look, her eyes lingering on Finn's. His eyes are pleading and sad but she shakes her head and departs. Leaving them behind. Wanting to leave _him_ behind.

Her third task was complete. She was moving on.

Why was she shaking with silent tears?

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**AN#2: **I love Rachel standing up for herself :) more to come... ;)

Next Chapter: ? WHO KNOWS! i don't ;) but hints for future plot will be _More than words _by Extreme, begging of forgiveness and confrontations galore...Finn redeeming himself maybe ;)

THANKS FOR READING AND PLEASE REVIEW! I WANT 100 (eventually haha)!


	14. Heat of the Moment

**Disclaimer: **I don't own GLEE or its characters though I wish I did.

**Author's Note: **Hello, hello! Here I am with another chapter and I'll _try _to post another two. The next chapter will be a BIG one! Thanks for all the awesome reviews! ENJOY!

* * *

She taps her pencil against her notebook anxiously, glancing at the clock again. Incredulous that there's still forty-five minutes left in class, she heaves a sigh and tries to ignore she silent prodding behind her, coming from the person she wishes she could forget.

After gaining composure after her shaky reaction to the confrontation, she strode out with a confident mask. Artie was quick to find her and congratulate her on an 'epic ass-kicking' and 'smacking them down like the hand of God' and she was extremely appreciative of him. He talked really fast about how shocked Mr. Schue was and how Finn nearly broke down but she tuned out when she saw Finn watching them from his locker intently. They had locked eyes for a brief moment, his eyes pleading and hers stone cold but she had turned away, looking back to Artie.

The silent longing from her ex had been a burden all day and now she sits in English, feeling his eyes burning into her back from his position behind her. His long legs stretch into her space as he slumps and she can feel his knee bouncing nervously, making the floor vibrate. She can tell he's chewing on his pen thoughtfully, his thoughts swirling with things he wants to say but won't come out the right way.

He exhales loudly with frustration, sitting up straighter and thrumming his fingers against the desk. She glowers at the clock again as if it'll make time go by faster. The seconds tick by like hours and she frowns deeply, squirming in her chair when she feels his eyes on her back.

He jumps a bit, the lightbulb practically beaming above his head as he tears a sheet noisily from his notebook, clicking his pen a few times before beginning to write. She can hear him scribbling furiously, the sound scratchy from how hard he's pressing down on the page. She wonders where the sudden urgency came from but pretends that she's not intrigued and curious. He keeps writing in determination, stopping occasionally to think or to scuff something out with a low growl and she listens to each huff or pause, gnawing on her lip anxiously.

She looks at the clock again, seeing that he's been writing for a good twenty-five minutes without stopping for more than a few seconds. As if on cue, he ceases his essay with a soft breath. He clicks his pen and places it down, picking up the sheet of paper and examining it. When he seems to be satisfied, he digs through his pencil case and pulls out something, scribbling something quickly onto it. She swallows nervously, gauging the new silence. She can practically hear him thinking.

He clears his throat gently and she ignores it, eyes dropping to her notebook as she pretends to take notes. His knee bounces as he clears his throat a little louder, pursing his lips. She continues to feign oblivion. He then coughs loudly and drops something by her feet clumsily, attempting to be stealthy. He begins to thrum his fingers against the desk again, his foot tapping the leg of her chair, silently pressing.

"Are you alright, Mr. Hudson?" Mr. Connor asks with a quirked eyebrow from the front of the room. "Do you need to excuse yourself for a drink?"

Finn's head snaps up in fright before shaking his head. "N-no, sir" he stammers. "Sorry."

Mr. Connor rolls his eyes, turning back to the whiteboard. She can sense Finn's relief as he continues pressing silently, telling her to pick up the sticky note he tossed. He grows more frustrated, fidgeting again as he leans forward. He hisses a "psst" and she huffs, bending over to pick up the sticky note, chancing a glance at his eager face. He smiles nervously with a wave and she glares in return, turning her back to him as she slowly opens the note to see his distinctive printing.

_ Hey Rach...I know you're pissed at me but can we talk? We really need to. :( please?_

She sighs in irritation, pushing the note aside. She can feel him slump sadly, prodding her once again to respond. After a second of deliberation, she grabs the note and writes a large '**NO**', pressing the pen hard against the sticky note. She glances up at Mr. Connor to see him busy so she slyly runs a hand through her hair, dropping the note on his desk before leaning back forward, scolding herself not to turn around. She glimpses desperately at the clock. Fifteen minutes. She can make it.

She can feel his frown and to her dismay, he starts scribbling again. He tosses at her again and she rolls her eyes, opening it.

_ Why? I have to explain. Please? Please Rach? _

She grinds her teeth and seethes, tearing a new sticky note from her pile as she scrawls a hasty, angry response.

_ Absolutely not...I will not subject myself to any more of your excuses. You should be paying attention and NOT writing absurd notes to me about explaining your deplorable actions when you probably will toy carelessly with my heart again. I don't need you to explain. You've made it clear that I mean nothing to you. Now LEAVE ME ALONE!_

She passes it back to him, crossing her arms lividly steaming. She can feel him deflate behind her but another spark of determination ignites within him as he replies yet again. He tosses it to her and she quickly opens it.

_ Come on, Rach, please? We really have to talk. I won't hurt your feelings and **of course** you mean something to me. Please? I won't stop until you say yes. I don't give up that easy, remember? ;)_

She turns back a scowls viciously at him and he gives her an awkward, pleading smile. She clicks her tongue in vexation, writing him back.

_Of course you don't give up easily...how witty (sarcasm by the way). Why are you even talking to me? I'm a **freak**, remember?_

She fumes quietly, hoping that's the last of his notes but she knows it isn't. He scrawls desperately across the sticky, flustered and throws it back to her.

_ I didn't mean it! Please, Rach...let me explain. I owe you that. Then you can tell me about last night and I won't be mean. PLEASE? I'm sorry._

She clenches her jaw, her hand flying across the sticky, before hurling it back at his surprised face. It hits him in the nose and he blinks, stunned before picking up the paper.

_ Sorry? You don't know the meaning of the word. Sorry means you're not going to do it again. How do I know you won't be a jerk again? I don't feel like wasting my time. So STOP!_

He frowns deeply, taking a moment to deliberate his response. He writes slower and with more purpose before gently tossing it to her_._

_ Please? Just hear me out. _

She runs a hand through her hair with a long sigh, staring at the words. She doesn't want to listen to him. She wants to forget about him. He was so mean to her and she's sick of dealing with it. She will _not_ hear him out.

She nods with determination, pressing her pen down to the note.

_ Fine. You get five minutes._

Damn it.

* * *

**AN#2: **ooooh what will Finn say? what will Rachel's reaction be? STAY TUNED!

Next Chapter: hearing Finn out

THANKS FOR READING AND PLEASE REVIEW!


	15. More than Words

**Disclaimer: **I don't own GLEE or its characters though I wish I did.

**Author's Note: **Struggled with this chapter so it's another double update night. Hoping tomorrow will be triple or more but who knows! Anyways this is a BIG chapter so ENJOY!

* * *

She tries to calm her pounding heartbeat as she walks into the auditorium at 4pm that day, looking for him. He's no where to be found and she sighs, crossing her arms as she takes a wary step further, glancing out into the vast emptiness of the stage and hall. "Finn?" she calls suspiciously. "Are you here?"  
She can hear a clatter from backstage before he jumps out from behind the curtains, surprise etched on his face. "Hey" he greets breathlessly. "I thought you'd be a bit longer."

Her stone cold mask does not falter as she eyes him with a quirked eyebrow. "You wanted to talk?" she presses wearily. "You have five minutes."

"Right" he says, gesturing for her to come closer. She purses her lips before obliging, striding up to the foot of the stage. "So..." he begins lightly. "How was your day?"

"If that's all you have to say, I have no idea what I'm doing here" she scoffs, ready to turn away.

"Wait...sorry" he murmurs. "I'm just nervous." Her face softens but she hides it by looking down at her feet. "Look...I'm sorry I called you a freak and said that stuff. It was just a lot to take in and I snapped. If what you said really happened, I'm sorry for leading you on." He sighs, running a hand through his hair. "I have no idea what happened last night but I think I believe you." He pauses, swallowing nervously. "And I've been thinking a lot and I think I'm ready to try again...with us. I don't fully forgive you 'cause what you did really messed me up but I think we can try to start over." He nods resolutely. "You can be my girlfriend again and you can come back to Glee and we can be co-captains." He half-smiles proudly, satisfied with his speech.

She clenches her jaw angrily, shaking her head. "So I get to be your girlfriend again?" she hisses menacingly. He nods with a smile and she laughs mockingly. "You don't get it at all." His face falls as he furrows his brow in confusion. "You think because _you_ said so, everything can go back to normal. Did you ever consider that I might not _want_ to be your girlfriend again?"

His jaw drops open as he stammers in shock. "B-b-but you said today that we were in love" he exclaims flustered. "I said sorry! I thought that's what you wanted..."

She shakes her head, tears welling up from frustration. "Why don't you understand?" she asks, her voice wavering. "I've never wanted the title...I wanted _you_. That's all I wanted...all of your love. I didn't care about the frill of being Finn Hudson's girlfriend. I cared about us...I cared about you. But instead of getting your love, I got shafted. I got abandoned for your reputation.

"Did you ever think that maybe you hurt me? Maybe I felt insecure and unappreciated? You just watched everyone laugh at me. You listed my flaws daily. You checked out the Cheerios who make me feel so ugly. I did what I did because I felt so insecure and stupid for trusting you again. I knew I couldn't compete with Santana physically. You knew how I felt and instead of reassuring me, you just sat idly by. I screwed up and I took responsibilty for it but every mistake you made, you took advantage of my forgiveness. You never suffered. I worshipped you and you just walked all over me. I felt so stupid and ugly all the time with you. You never made me feel secure. And you never apologized for any of it."

She chokes on a sob, rubbing her face where tears burn hot streaks down her cheeks. "I can't do this anymore" she says emotionally. "When you left me, I was convinced that I deserved it and then you sang that horrible song and started dating the Queen of the bitches to rub salt in the wound. Then y-you called me a freak and made me feel even worse than I did before. I finally realized that I_ don't_ deserve this. I need to move on from you. But I can't do that when you're playing these stupid games when you know I still love you."

"Rach" he begs desperately, hopping off the stage and walking toward her. "I want to start again. I promise not to make you feel that way-"

"You still don't get it" she cries, shaking him off. She takes a deep breath, meeting his eye. "Do you know the bad 'Extreme'?"

He blinks in bewilderment. "Yes..."

"Do you know the song 'More than Words'?"

"Yes."

"Well maybe you should listen to that song again" she says, her voice breaking. "_Then_ you'll understand. It's not about what you say. You could say anything. But what takes real guts and tells me that you really love me and want us to work is putting the words into action. Being consistent. Not caring about who's watching. Making sure I feel as loved as you do. Being considerate and selfless. _That's_ what real love is. Looking back on our whole relationship, I came to the realization that you didn't feel a _third_ of what I felt for you. I did everything for you and you did what you had to." She releases another sob. "I can't be with someone who can't love me the way I deserve to be loved. I was bossy and loud and selfish but when it came to you, I cared so much more about _your_ happiness instead of mine."

She backs away, shaking her head. "I can't do it."

"Please, Rach" he pleads, running closer. He takes her into his arms and holds her close, begging for her to understand. "Please...I'll change...please. I love you. I love you _so_ much...please..."

She slides out of his embrace and shakes her head again, her face crumpling when she sees the heartbreak on his angelic face. "Don't" she whispers. "Just let me go."

He freezes, his cinnamon eyes flooding with tears. She cries and cries as she flees, unable to take another moment. She shoves open the door with another weep, leaving his frozen frame behind.

She runs.

And she runs.

And she runs.

She tries to escape but she knows she never will.

* * *

_"Saying I love you  
Is not the words I want to hear from you  
It's not that I want you  
Not to say, but if you only knew  
How easy it would be to show me how you feel  
More than words is all you have to do to make it real  
Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me  
Cos I'd already know  
What would you do if my heart was torn in two  
More than words to show you feel  
That your love for me is real  
What would you say if I took those words away  
Then you couldn't make things new  
Just by saying I love you..." _

_

* * *

_

**AN#2: **PHEW! Sadness :( Song credit was obviously 'More than Words' by Extreme

Next Chapter: Rachel sees New Directions behind the scenes post her resignation (ooh!)

THANKS FOR READING AND PLEASE REVIEW!


	16. Fall to Pieces

**Disclaimer: **I don't own GLEE or its characters though I wish I did.

**Author's Note: **Hey everyone! Thanks for reviews, alerts and reads! Here's another chapter and I'm going to try to post another two tonight. We're nearing the end, people! I want to finish it before school starts back up again. Anyways, ENJOY! I liked writing this chapter :)

* * *

She sits in the empty auditorium the next day, twiddling her thumbs as she looks down at her lap, enjoying the silence of being alone. She's always found herself drained lately. Unable to face the cruel world outside her own personal bubble. She can't find the energy to fight it.

After running until her lungs burned and her legs gave out yesterday, she spent another long night crying herself to an uneasy sleep. Her phone buzzed with messages but she didn't even bother to check them, simply texting Artie and Kurt '_not now_'. Her plan of finding Rachel Berry was already failing but she couldn't find the strength or enthusiasm to care.

She got to school late this morning and spent the day avoiding the halls _he _uses, ignoring the burning shame for doing so. She shouldn't feel she has to dodge him. But she does it anyway, unable to take seeing his perfect face, pleading for her to come back. It's just a game for him. He wants what he can't have but when he gets it, he doesn't know what to do with it. She can't handle it anymore.

Releasing a sigh, she slumps back in her seat, leaning her head against the back of the chair and closing her eyes. Why does it have to hurt so much? Why does she _always_ find herself back in this stupid position?

Her thoughts are interrupted when the side door of the auditorium bursts open and voices fill the peace of her sanctuary. "You don't know anything!" Mercedes' distinctive voice bellows in irritation. She sinks lower in her invisible seat, watching the silhouettes of the Glee Club enter and disturb the stillness. "You're not gonna take _my _solo! Mary J. Blige is _my _chocolate thunder! Not yours!"

"What _chocolate thunder_?" Santana's sharp voice derides. "I could do that song _so_ much better. You know it, I know it, everyone knows it!"

"Would you two stop squawking?" Quinn asks with a groan.

"Shut up, Barbie" Santana snaps. "Why don't you go get pregnant again?"

"Go to hell!" Quinn yells angrily.

"Guys" Mr. Schue shouts warningly as they all fall silent. "Enough." He sighs in frustration. "Why don't you two take it as a duet? You did great with '_River Deep, Mountain High_'...just do it again!"

"I'm not singing with that Lindoor" Santana protests.

"And I'm not singing with that mattress" Mercedes hollers, hands on her hips.

"Can we all stop fighting for two seconds?" Sam questions desperately. "We haven't stopped fighting for so long...I have a headache!"

"Shut up, sissy" Puck barks. "Go get more product for your hair."

"You shut up" Sam snarls. "All you do is yell at me all the time...what the hell did I do?"

"Cut it out" Mike calls, stepping between them.

"Stop trying to save the day, Chang" Puck growls. "You can't even sing, why are you here?"

"Shut it, Puckerman" Tina snaps.

"Please everyone just shut _up_" Santana yells. "I'm taking the solo because I'm captain. Since RuPaul is gone, I'm captain!"

"Oh, _please_" Quinn scoffs. "You're the worst one here."

"At least I don't have stretch marks" Santana shouts with a smirk.

"At least I don't hump everything that moves" Quinn retorts furiously.

"This is so much better than _Days of our Lives_" Lauren says intrigued.

"I'm so sick of all of you" Mercedes shrieks in frustration. "You all think you're better than me when you're not! _I _should be getting all the leads and solos!"

"That's not true" Tina says in offence. "I should be getting leads!"

"S-s-says stuttering Asian!" Santana yells.

"Shut up, satan" Tina barks.

"No one likes you Santana" Mike shouts in annoyance. "Just go home."

"You're not cool, Chang" Puck says with a roll if the eyes.

"Lay off Mike" Sam defends, shoving Puck in the chest.

"Go to hell" Puck bellows, shoving him back. "Are you PMS-ing again?"

"Don't say that to my boyfriend" Quinn screams. "Leave him alone...he's twice the man you'll ever be!"

"You said I was _the_ man in bed last year" Puck scoffs.

"_Shut up_!" Quinn screeches.

"Guys" Mr. Schue yells, silencing them again. "Enough with all of this arguing! What is going on with you guys? We're falling apart!" He gapes at all of them. "Santana is trying to take control, Mercedes is being selfish, Tina wants everything, Mike's getting involved, Sam and Puck are fighting over something that's irrelevant, Quinn is bickering, Finn is moping and the rest of you are just sitting there! Now will someone tell me what's going on!"

"Everyone else is being stupid" Santana declares. "I'm the only normal one here!"

"Enough, Santana" Mr. Schue says loudly. "I'm tired of you picking on all of your teammates. If you weren't acting so selfish and mean, we wouldn't be falling apart!"

"It's your fault, too, Mr. Schue" Mercedes retaliates. "If you hadn't driven Rachel over the edge, we'd still be in control!"

"We all played parts in Rachel leaving" Mr. Schue defends.

"I can't believe I'm actually saying this but we need Rachel back" Quinn says with a hollow laugh.

"Hooray" Artie exclaims, surprising everyone. "Someone besides me is sane around here. We took Rachel's organization, enthusiasm and commitment to this club for granted and now we sit here absolutely lost and falling apart because Rachel was the heart and soul of this club!"

"He's right" Finn murmurs, sounding dejected. "She's the reason New Directions worked. Without her, we don't work..._I _don't work."

"Shut up, Frankenteen" Santana yells. "You're the reason she left in the first place. You lied to the dwarf and she threw another diva fit-"

"Stop it, Santana!" Finn shouts, startling everyone. "I'm so sick of you saying that shit about Rachel all the damn time! Sleeping with you was a mistake! When are you gonna realize that everyone hates you! Maybe if you weren't such a_ bitch_, people wouldn't run away from you! I know I screwed up royally and I hurt the one person I love more than it's possible and I know I'm a frigging idiot for doing it but _all_ of us destroyed her confidence! Bashing her, laughing at her, yelling at her, abandoning her, ignoring her...we all did it! She deserves so much better than that because she's perfect! She cared about all of us and wanted us to be happy and not fall on her faces. And now that she's gone, we're going to be an even _bigger_ laughing stock than before! I hope she doesn't come back because she's _so_ much better than this frigging twisted thing! How about we all give ourselves a huge pat on the back for ruining the best thing in this cow town and teaching her that she deserves better than us! We're nothing without her! _I'm_ nothing without her!"

He laughs in exasperation and incredulity as everyone gawks in shock at him. "I'm out of here" he says with an emotional snicker, waving his hand with a roll of the eyes as he begins to stride for the door.

"He's right" Tina murmurs. "Rachel was the reason this club worked."

Everyone but a furious Santana nods as Finn scoffs loudly. "Took us long enough!" he calls before departing, leaving the rest of the club, pondering on the stage.

"Peace" Artie says in amusement, wheeling his way off the stage. "I'm out."

"We're dismissed" Mr. Schue mumbles, packing up his papers. "See you guys tomorrow."

Everyone treks wearily out of the auditorium apart from Santana who storms out with a growls and before she knows it, she's alone again with nothing but the echoes of their voices fading into the vastness.

She blinks repetitively in surprise from what she just witnessed as if to make sense of it all. A small smile creeps onto her lips from the thought that New Directions are falling to pieces without her.

It's about damn time.

* * *

_"I fall to pieces, I'm falling _  
_Fell to pieces and I'm still falling_  
_Every time I'm falling down_  
_All alone I fall to pieces..."_

_

* * *

_

**AN#2: **New Directions got a RUDE awakening haha Song credit was "Fall to Pieces" by Velvet Revolver...awesome song.

Next Chapter: it's a surprise ;)

THANKS FOR READING AND PLEASE REVIEW!


	17. Confrontations

**Disclaimer: **I don't own GLEE or its characters though I wish I did.

**Author's Note: **Hello again! This is an INTENSE chapter so I _really_ hope you enjoy! I'm not sure when my next update will be today but it WILL be up...maybe even another...fingers crossed! Anyways, ENJOY for now!

* * *

The rest of the week passes in a blur with Mercedes, Tina, Mike, Quinn, Sam and Puck tentatively asking for her to come back. She was stunned at first when she saw Tina timidly approach her but it quickly faded into amusement as they continued to come, the answer remaining a firm 'no'.

Finn hadn't been ruthless in his hunt to get her back, only approaching her once with a seemingly heartfelt plea and apology but she shook her head and as kindly as she could, declined. He backed off as she wished but she could see how broken and forlorn he looked. He traipsed the halls heavily with red, puffy eyes, dark circles under them and pale skin. Whenever he saw her, he'd send her a painful smile before turning away as if to say _I'll leave you alone. I don't deserve you. _It broke her heart.

It's now Friday and lunch. She attempts to weave her way through the buzzing, chaotic hallway while people push past her with a gruff "move it". She's lost in her thoughts, ignoring their insults as she thinks about Finn. She hasn't seen him at all today. She hopes he's okay. He looks terrible...

She seems to reach the peak of the horde as slides through with an exhale of relief when Karofsky knocks into her -_hard_- and sends her flying to the marble floor, books that were cradled against her chest flying in all directions. Her knee slams hard onto the floor and the wind is knocked out of her as she lands, blinking in surprise. The cruel scoffs make her seethe, ducking her head s as her knee pulsates.

"Watch where you're going, Berry" Karofsky sneers deridingly.

She ignores him and reaches to pick up the textbook at her side only to have it kicked away by Azimio. He laughs as she glowers up at him before yelping when someone steps on her hand as they walk by. She pulls it to her chest and bites her lip, suppressing tears as they all cackle around her. She's actually _afraid _to get up.

"Leave me alone" she rumbles, looking down at the floor.

They continue to scoff and shock flows through her when she feels the all-too-familiar icy liquid pour onto her head, coating her in corn syrup. She wipes the slushy from her eyes as it drips down her face, her face burning in mortification and anger.

She thinks that something even worse is about to happen but is startled when she hears a slam and nothing happens to her. She whips her head up to see Azimio and another jock watching in horror as Karofsky is slammed up against the lockers by none other than Finn. She gapes at the scene before her and at the unadulterated lividness that sears in Finn's usual warm cinnamon eyes and angelic, smooth face. She's never seen him this infuriated before (it's _really _hot).

"Don't you _ever_ touch her again" Finn snarls dangerously, his voice sharp and dangerous. "Don't look at her, don't speak to her...don't even _think_ about her or _I'll kill you_!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa" Karofsky says weakly, struggling against his grip. "What are you-"

"Shut up" Finn orders angrily. "You're a stupid fat ass and you don't understand anything! Rachel Berry is the best thing in this stupid cow town and in a few years, she'll be signing autographs and famous while you'll be pumping gas in the dump, yakking about your glory days in high school. News flash: no one cares about you!

"I can't believe how stupid I was to _ever_ want to fit in with you douches. I was blind and mean because I screwed up everything with Rachel and I'm paying the price, having to see her so sad. I'm_nothing_ without her! I hate myself for hurting her so many times and -believe me- you will, too when you see how successful and amazing she'll be in the future. If you ever bothered to get your thick heads out of your asses, you'd see how perfect she is. She's everything to me...she's my world. And I'm tired of saying different."

He sighs wearily. "I'm so in love with Rachel, it's impossible. She's my universe and she always will be. I was stupid and selfish and mean and I screwed it up so many damn times. I abandoned her. But I'm done doing that. She deserves better than Lima, Ohio...she deserves the _world. _I wish I gave her that. But even if she doesn't take me back, I'm gonna be whatever she wants me to be. That's all I want. I want her to be _so, so, so _happy. So you're not going to do that shit to her anymore. If you feel like being jackasses and slushying or pushing or bullying someone, do it to me."

They all laugh incredulously. "You're kidding" Azimio says with a sneer.

He shoves Karofsky hard before turning to everyone. "I'm not" he growls. She can hear the honesty behind it. "Every time you want to slushy Rachel or tease her or do anything mean to her, do it to me instead. I deserve it and I'd take a billion paintballs to the head for her. Just stop doing this shit to her because she's _so _perfect and I love her more than it's possible. I-"

"Finn, look out!" she bellows, pointing at the advancing figure of Karofsky, arm snapped back. Before he can think of dodging it, Karofsky's hand is on his shoulder blade and his fist is driving into his face. Blood gushes instantly.

* * *

**AN#2: **Short but dramatic! I LOVE protective!Finn :)

Next Chapter: SURPRISE!

THANKS FOR READING AND PLEASE REVIEW!


	18. Okay

**Disclaimer: **I don't own GLEE or its characters though I wish I did.

**Author's Note: **HAPPY NEW YEAR/2011! Thanks to all who reviewed! Sorry this took so long but I got it up :) This is short but INTENSE! Loved writing it even though I'mdyingofexhaustion. LOVE TO ALL AND ENJOY!

* * *

The crack of cartilage is loud and sharp as Finn stumbles back from the impact, his nose gushing dark blood. Before he can recover, he's hit again in the jaw -this time by Azimio- and ambushed with more punches. She scrambles to her feet, his name falling desperately from her lips as they slam him up against the lockers, his head hitting it hard. She can hear his distinctive voice, groaning before calling her name as his head hits the edge and she catches a glimpse of his face, his eyes already turning black while blood drips like a faucet from his nose and his expression twisted in pain.

He gets another punch to the face but he blocks Karofsky's next one, managing to send a blow to the jock's face. Karofsky staggers back and bumps into her again, pushing off of her to hit Finn again. Finn crumples to his knees and Azimio kicks him hard in the side as she screams for someone to help. She claws at Azimio's jacket with a screech for him to stop. Azimio checks her back but she shoves him as hard as she can to the side and he falls off balance. She sends him a hard kick to the groin and she hunches over in pain. High on adrenaline, she shoves him to the ground while he's in pain and almost laughs at how awesome it feels.

She turns back to Karofsky who's pulling Finn to his feet by the collar of his shirt. "Get your hands off of him" she bellows pushing the jock as hard as she can.

"Move it, Berry" the jock snarls, shoving her off his arm and onto the ground.

"Don't touch her" Finn shouts lividly, fighting off one of Karofsky's arms. He sends a punch to the jock's face and he staggers back as she scampers to her feet hastily. She sends a hard kick to his shin and he yelps, hopping back.

"Finn" she cries as he catches his breath, taking the moment to run to him.

"Rach" he breathes, finding comfort in the sound of her voice. :"Are you-"

Before he can finish, Karofsky is lunging back at him as well as Azimio and Finn puts her body behind his to create a shield. He blocks his face as best as he can as they continue to pound mercilessly on him and she feels Azimio's large rough hand yanking her away. She shrieks, trying to squirm out of his grip and it's released when Finn smacks his arm off, growling menacingly. While Finn's distracted, Karofsky's fist drives into Finn's cheek and he stumbles forward from the impact.

"STOP! STOP! STOP!" Mr. Schue's voice screams as he dives between the brawl, pulling Azimio and Karofsky away. She can hear Figgins' voice, yelling for the two boys to go to the office but she's numb to it, shaken from it all.

Finn falls to the floor with a long groan and she grabs Mr. Schue's arm desperately. "Mr. Schue thank goodness you're here!" she exclaims, choking up. "You've got to help Finn!"

Mr. Schue puts a hand on her back comfortingly before kneeling down beside Finn's limp, heaving frame. "Finn?" he questions, looking down at him. Finn's face is destroyed: two black eyes, his nose crooked, purple and gushing blood, his lip bleeding as well and his jaw darkening. Her heart breaks for him. "Are you alright? Are you dizzy?"

"I'm fine" he murmurs, struggling to sit up. Mr. Schue pushes him lightly back down with an incredulous look exchanged with her. "Where's Rach? Is she okay? Did they hurt her? Oh, my Gosh I need to see her. I need to take care of her. They pushed her...I tried to stop them. Is she okay? I _need_ her. Where is she?"

He continues to mumble pleadingly and she drops to her knees -ignoring how it hurts- and grabs his hand, pulling to close to her. "I'm right here" she says, a hand reaching out to caress his face.

His eyes and posture relax at her touch and sight, her name leaving his lips in a soft, reverent and relieved whisper. "Are you okay?" he asks worriedly. "Are you hurt? Did they hurt you? I'll kill them."

He tries to sit up but Mr. Schue keeps him down firmly. "I'm okay, everything's okay" she breathes in reassurance. "We're going to get you fixed up. Oh, Finn...are _you_ okay?"

"Swell" he replies with a hoarse laugh, squeezing her hand and leaning into her touch. "I was so scared. I'm so happy you're okay...they almost got you..."

She shushes him gently. "We're okay" she says. "It's all good."

And she believes it.

* * *

**AN#2: **WHOA! CrAzY iNtEnSe! haha hooray for protective!Finn!

Next Chapter: hospitals and hospitality ;)

THANKS FOR READING AND PLEASE REVIEW! LOVE TO ALL FOR AN AWESOME BEGINNING TO 2011!


	19. Belong

**Disclaimer: **I don't own GLEE or its characters though I wish I did.

**Author's Note: **Hello everyone! In my crazy exhaustion last night, I failed to realize that I reached 100 reviews! HOORAY! Thank you SO much to everyone! And now here's another chapter...I'll try to post another but we'll see. I want to finish it by TOMORROW so...*gnaws on lip nervously* we'll see. I wish I didn't have to go back to school :( i wish i could do this for a living. But during school, I can barely think about posting. I'm up at 6am and hope at 4-ish...sometimes when I have soccer or other stuff, I'm not home till 8 or 9! I'm always exhausted and it's sad.

SORRY FOR THE RANT...just very sad. I love posting :(

For now...ENJOY!

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She sits watching his peaceful face as he leans back in his seat, eyes closed as he holds a Kleenex to his bleeding nose. His lip stopped bleeding on the car ride but she also found that the back of his head that hit the edge of the locker was also bleeding so she holds another tissue to the wound, nervously chewing on her lip as she studies his calm face. She holds his free hand tightly and he plays lazily and affectionately with her fingers, easing her stress. She hasn't let go or took her eyes off of him since the incident. She's shaken and twitchy from everything and she can't get the sight of those obtuse jocks hitting him out of her head.

She reluctantly tears her eyes away from his perfect face to glance at Mr. Schue who's at the front counter, talking with the receptionist. She sighs, squeezing his hand again as she looks around the dreary waiting room of the doctor's office where few people sit, coughing or sneezing. Everyone's eyes occasionally float back to Finn's destroyed face in shock and the receptionist has gaped a few dozen times as well. Luckily since it's mid-day, they won't have to wait long to see a doctor.

They haven't talked about their issues at all though he's tried to a few times. She'd shush him, telling him to relax and that there'd be time to talk later when he's feeling okay. She's completely forgotten that they were even broken up and right now, she's okay with it.

Her knee is bouncing and she fidgets a lot, feeling apprehensive, worried and shaky as her eyes dart around the cramped office. He runs his thumb lightly over the bandage on her hand from when she got stepped on before pulling it quickly to his mouth and pressing a delicate kiss to it to calm her. She smiles at him, withdrawing the tissue from the back of his head and tossing it in the nearby trash before winding her arm around his, resting her head against his shoulder to seek comfort. He places his now free hand on her bruised knee from the fall, rubbing it gently and pressing a soft kiss to the top of her head, whispering an "I'm okay" into her hair as a reassurance.

He knows her too well.

Finn had been so worried about _her _and she spent the whole car ride assuring him that she was fine. He was hard to convince but after caressing his face and sending him a smile, he'd relaxed enough to stop his rambling and fussing. It was funny how concerned they were about each other.

She snuggles into the fabric of his sweater and inhales his scent, soothing the tears that were brimming for him. The tears were grateful that he was okay but anxious for him as well. It was unsettling and relieving all in one. She curls her arm around his bicep and cuddles closer, ignoring the unreadable looks from the ill spectators around them and focuses on the rhythm of his breathing. He kneads her thigh and eases her, nuzzling her hair and occasionally breathing comforting words.

"Finn?" the receptionist calls, gaining their attention. They turn to look at the plump woman who stands at the door to the offices with a file in her hands. "Dr. Smith is ready to see you."

Mr. Schue jogs over and they both slowly help Finn up, leading him toward the door. They follow the woman down the narrow hallway before entering another small confined office. A desk sits in the corner with an newer computer that sticks out among the other old, worn things like the chipped pain that layer the walls at the ratty old seats that sit near the examination table. She doesn't look at the equipment because doctor's offices and hospitals have always made her uncomfortable. The woman tells them the doctor will be in shortly and departs, leaving them alone.

She takes a seat as Mr. Schue helps Finn onto the examination table. She watches him intently as he settles, sending her a serene smile that makes her heart stutter and all breath leave her body.

He's never looked at her that way...so much love and adoration. His cinnamon, bruised eyes glow with a deep doting affection and respect and his smile is extremely loving. It makes a blush creep up to her cheeks and she smiles shyly in return, averting her gaze bashfully.

Mr. Schue chuckles, breaking them out of their trance and her head whips to see him rolling his eyes playfully as he looks at Finn's adoring (and adorable) face that sports a goofy, dreamy smile, his eyes focused solely on her. "Do you think he has a concussion?" Mr. Schue asks jokingly, waving a hand in front of Finn's now amused face.

She giggles shrugging lightheartedly. "I'm not sure."

Finn scoffs. "I told you I'm good" he says with a smirk. "There's just lots of colours and Mr. Schue has a twin...no biggie."

They all laugh, forgetting the troubles that weighed heavily on them mere minutes ago. Mr. Schue sighs sadly then, turning to look at her. "I'm really sorry, Rachel" he murmurs honestly. "What I did was wrong...you were right. I treated you horribly and unfairly. Maybe you'll be happy to know that New Directions is falling apart without their captain."

She shrugs, running a hand through her hair. "It's okay, Mr. Schue" she says idly. "I was unbearable at times. But it was hard. It's nice to hear that from you, however. I'm sorry that the club isn't functioning."

He grimaces. "Everyone keeps arguing" he huffs. "I had no idea why until we all realized that you kept us in order. Now they're all trying to be captains. We haven't done any rehearsing since you left."

"That's too bad" she says softly.

"We really need you back" Mr. Schue laughs lightly but she can tell he's being serious.

"I'm sorry but I can't" she says gently. "I need a break. I love performing but we're going through a bit of a rough patch. I just can't go back right now. I need to think."

Mr. Schue nods understandingly. "I'll get everybody to give you space" he says authentically. "Is there anything I can do to make it up to you for being so horrible?"

She gives him a small smile, shaking her head. "I don't think so" she chuckles. "Just don't do it again. And I don't know how long I'll be able to stay away from performing so if I come back, welcome me with open arms. You're lucky I'm in such a forgiving state."

He laughs relieved and she stands to give him a hug. She looks at Finn over the teacher's shoulder and he gives her another warm, affectionate smile which she returns. They break apart and she feels a huge weight lifted off her shoulders. Now she doesn't have to fear bitterness from a teacher and mentor.

"Since we're all apologizing," Finn says when she sits back down. "Rach...can I-"

"No, no, no" she shushes hastily, striding to his side. She presses a gentle kiss to his bruised cheek and revels in his dreamy smile. "We'll talk when you're not sitting here with a bloody, broken nose and a big, fat cut on the back of your head."

He grumbles slightly in disappointment. "We're going to talk about this" he mutters pouting.

She beams at him, kissing his cheek again. "I know we will" she murmurs soothingly.

He grins, winding an arm around her waist and tugging her closer. "I love you, Rach" he whispers, his breath tickling her ear. "More than it's possible. I'm so, so, so, so, so sorry...I-"

"Shh" she whispers soothingly, stroking his face. "Like I said we can talk when you're feeling better. It's not always easy and we're bound to make mistakes but remember that no matter what I love you more than anything in the entire universe and nothing will ever change that. It's always going to be a challenge but I know we can make it. I love you, Finn. You're my best friend. And the love of my life. I'm upset and angry and hurt but what you just did...it was...beyond words. Thank you so much."

He smiles, tears leaking from his eyes. It takes her breath away. "I love you way, way, way more, Rach" he murmurs. "More than anything in existence...more than life...you're incredible. Thank you for being so good to me." Tears streak down his cheeks and she kisses them lightly away. "I can't even express how much I love you and how thankful I am to have you in my life. And I'd take a billion beatings from those jackasses for you."

She beams at him, kissing his lips gently. "You and me, Finn" she breathes. "That's the way it should be. And that's the way it will be in the end."

"Absolutely" he says with determination. "Forever."

She nods, kissing him once more, unable to take another moment without feeling his sweet lips on hers as the door clicks open. She caresses his face and turns to see the doctor enter. She's late-forties with short, dark, thin hair and aging lines. Her smile is warm and inviting as she greets all of them, introducing herself as Doctor Smith. She gives the woman a small smile as Mr. Schue introduces them before turning back to Finn who's gazing at her with so much love it takes her breath away. She beams at him, kissing him soundly before taking a seat next to Mr. Schue, Finn's eyes never leaving her. She blushes under his intense, smoldering stare, watching as he gives her a soft, adoring smile making her heart flutter. She returns it and hears Mr. Schue chuckle. "Don't worry about them" he says to Doctor Smith. "They're love struck…I'm pretty sure it's not a concussion."

"Alright" Doctor Smith laughs. "Well…let's check you out, shall we?" Finn nods slightly, barely tearing his eyes away from her to look at the Doctor. She takes out a file and a pen, taking a seat at her desk. "So, Finn…can you tell me what happened? Or as much as you can remember?"

Finn nods with a sigh, pursing his lips as he thinks. "Well...there's these two guys in my school who are both over 200 pounds and they've always been real dou-I mean jerks" he begins. "And one of them shoved Rachel. They were all laughing and then they dumped a drink on her head. I kind of…uh…got really mad and confronted them. I told them to leave her alone and how I don't care about my popularity and how much I love her—" He pauses, smiling at her warmly. "Then one guy grabbed me from behind and punched me in the nose. Then the guy who I was screaming at hit me again and I remember hitting the lockers and my head and but I was really worried about Rachel. She was amazing. She shoved one guy off of me then kicked him in the nads and when he was off balance she shoved him away then she started yelling for the guy who was hitting me to get off and he pushed her off so I hit him and then a lot more punches were thrown and then I was on the ground. Then I remember lying on the ground and looking up at the ceiling and it was kind of spinning. I had a huge headache but I was just really worried about Rachel. She hit the ground pretty hard and I wanted to see her and make sure she was okay. Mr. Schue came up and asked me if I was alright but I was too worried about Rach to care. Then she told me she was okay so I finally calmed down. That's it, I think."

The doctor nods, scribbling on the file in her hands. "Alright can you tell me where you're hurting the most?"

"My nose" he answers. "And the back of my head is stinging. My face hurts but my nose if the worst. My side hurts too because they kicked me."

Doctor Smith shakes her head slightly. "I hope those boys suffer the consequences" she murmurs.

"I'll make sure that's so" she pipes up as all eyes fall on her. "I plan on having a serious discussion with our principal about the suspension of those Neanderthals."

She turns crimson from Mr. Schue and the doctor's amused expressions and Finn's affectionate one. "Good" Dr. Smith says with a smile. "Are you hurt anywhere, Rachel?"

Finn's face twists into one of concern as she shakes her head lightly. "My hand but I cleaned it off and put a band-aid on it" she replies. "And my knee but it's just a bruise. Nothing compared to Finn."

Finn still looks worried but the doctor nods. "That's good" she says. "So let's take a look at your battle wounds." She gets to her feet and strides to the examination table where Finn removes the tissue pressed to his nose as he gazes only at her. She smiles in reassurance at him, blowing him a kiss and he returns the smile, mouthing an 'I love you'.

Doctor Smith hisses at the sight of his nose. "That's definitely broken" she confirms. "We'll have to adjust that. And your face looks like it'll be badly bruised. Let's see the back of your head." Finn shows her and she can see the bleeding cut from where she is. She inhales sharply, clenching her fists and resisting the urge to go find and kill the jocks that did that to him. Finn turns to look worriedly at her, assuming she's hurting but she shakes her head slightly, giving him a sympathetic and worried look. He smiles in assurance as Doctor Smith examines the cut. "Luckily you won't need stitches for that but however I will put a bigger bandage on it because it's pretty bad."

She gets out gauze and hands it to him. "I'll need you to press that to the wound while I go get the things I need to fix your nose and bandage your head" she says as Finn obediently does. "Good…I'll be back in a moment."

Doctor Smith exits the room and she immediately gets to her feet, striding to his side. She fondles his face gently, kissing the bruises soothingly. "I'm going to kill them for doing this to you" she whispers against his cheek and he chuckles lightly, pulling her closer. "I'm serious."

"I know you are, gorgeous" he murmurs. "I'm going to kill them for doing this to _you_. How are you feeling? Are you still hurting?"

She shakes her head, running her fingers through his thick, tousled hair. "I'm fine" she coos. "I'm okay. I love you and how protective you are."

He grins. "Love you way more, Rach" he says genuinely. He kisses her cheek, corner of her mouth before pecking her lips and she giggles, taking the gauze and pressing it to the back of his head for him. He winds his now free hand around her waist and pulls her into a tight hug. She squeezes him back, enjoying the feel of him.

This is where she belongs.

* * *

_"When I go the distance_  
_I'll be right where I belong..."_

_

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**AN#2: **Awwwww cute protective!Finchel. LOVE IT! btw song credit was "Going the Distance" again :)

THANKS FOR READING AND PLEASE REVIEW! HOPING TO POST ANOTHER TONIGHT!


	20. I'm a Believer

**Disclaimer: **I don't own GLEE or its characters though I wish I did.

**Author's Note: **Hello people! I'm SO sorry I didn't post again last night...I crashed! Anyways here's another chapter and we're definitely nearing the end! I'm not sure how much longer but I'm guessing another 1 or 2 and an epilogue. So stay tuned! Hopefully I'll finish tonight because I have some parts pre-typed. Thanks for all the awesome reviews and for now ENJOY!

* * *

They break apart from their embrace and he's quick to press a lingering kiss on her lips, pouring all the emotion and love in the world into it. She hums against his lips, trying to remember that he's sore and fragile. She melts into his arms as he holds her close and she can't even remember her name because the electricity and passion that crackles between them is taking a hold of her. No words need to be said. This is what they need right now. Everything else can wait.

They kiss again and she doesn't hold back, kissing him fiercely. He responds just as strongly but winces when his nose presses against hers. "I'm so sorry" she exclaims, jumping back. He chuckles, pulling her back. "I'm sorry" she breathes again, enthralled by him as he kisses the tip of her nose.

He laughs softly. "Don't be" he says. "You're adorable."

She giggles as he peppers her face with kisses, noticing Mr. Schue who rolls his eyes and smirks, averting his gaze from their display. "Sorry, Mr. Schue" she says with a laugh. "We forgot you were here."

"I can tell" he chuckles. "I'm glad to see you guys worked it out. You're both such good kids and it's nice to see how much you care about each other. I hated seeing the tension between you two since Sectionals. But it's fantastic that you care about each other enough to get past it. And I honestly do think you'll make it."

She sends him a smile as Finn kisses her cheek affectionately. "Damn straight, Mr. Schue" Finn says and they all chortle.

"You've still got your humor which means it's not a concussion, thank God" Mr. Schue sighs in relief. "That was horrible, Finn."

Finn shrugs idly, winding his arm tighter around her waist. "I'm just glad Rach is okay" he says. "That's all I could think about."

Mr. Schue nods, leering knowingly. "I know" he says amused. "You were pretty out of it. I had to practically tackle you to get you to stay. You're pretty relentless Finn...very persistent."

They all laugh as Doctor Smith enters again with a white case. "I'm glad to see you're not in too much pain" she says grinning. "You're quite brave, Finn...most people wouldn't be able to concentrate after something like that."

Finn smiles, placing his hand on her arm that's on his shoulder. "It hurts but I'm trying not to complain" he says with a shrug. "I'm just glad to be here with Rachel...and you guys too."

They all laugh as Doctor Smith takes out a utensil, blunt and shiny. "Alright, Finn" she sighs. "I'm sorry but I'm going to have to straighten your nose. I'll have to stick this up your nostril and crank it to fix it. It'll hurt a bit but your pain tolerance is outstanding so you shouldn't have a problem. We'll tape it up and then bandage your head, arm you with some pain killers and you get to take it easy for a while. Sound okay?"

"Aside from the cranking up the nose yep" Finn replies, half-smiling. "Especially the pain killers."

They all laugh as she moves to the side, keeping one of his hands in hers. She reaches up and kisses his cheek, whispering her love for him in his ear. He grins, kissing her forehead before Doctor Smith positions his head properly and sticking the utensil up his nostril. "Ready?" the doctor inquires as Finn takes a deep breath, nodding. She kisses his hand as Doctor Smith twists the object abruptly with force.

She can hear the crack of cartilige and she grimaces, gauging Finn's reaction. He winces, sqeezing her hand tightly as he inhales sharply clenching his fist. She kisses his hand again and rubs soothing circles on his tense back, murmuring how great he did. Blood oozes from his broken nose and Doctor Smith grabs him tissues, telling him that he was excellent.

She squeezes his hand and kisses his cheek as he presses the tissue to his nose, smiling forced at her. He groans softly, exhaling loudly. "Ouch" he says with a painful laugh.

"You did great, baby" she says gently, kissing his cheek again. "Now you get pain killers!"

He smiles genuinely at her, pulling her snug to his side. "Thanks, babe" he breathes in her ear. She shivers in delight, kissing his temple.

"Alright now let's tape up that nose and your head and your all set" Doctor Smith says with a reassuring smile.

The doctor tapes his nose perfectly and firmly as well as the back of his head. Finn's calm throughout, wincing or grimacing occasionally but smiling when she kisses his cheek or temple or jaw or neck soothingly. She silently vows to kill the jocks that did this to him whenever he inhales sharply or hisses, clenching her jaw and fists angrily, nostrils flaring. Finn brushes her knuckles tenderly with the pad of his thumb or his lips calming her instantly which always helps.

Watching him as he listens to the doctor's instructions about the medication, nodding as he squeezes her hand and plays idly with her fingers, she realizes that she's the farthest thing from angry at him. When she thinks about what he said and what he did, she doesn't feel a burning hatred or crippling sadness like before, she feels understanding. She's angry and confused and hurt but it's eclipsed by her utter adoration for him. Her heart doesn't feel crushed beyond repair. She can breathe again.

It's not an excuse but she realizes that she's not mad at him because no matter what he does, he has her forgiveness before he needs it. She accepts him for every flaw and every mistake because she loves him unconditionally and she never wants to lose him again. That's what would hurt the most. And she doesn't mind. She _wants_ to love him.

"You ready to go, baby?" he asks, interrupting her thoughts.

She gazes at him, her eyes adorning nothing but admiration and love. He's a mess: drying blood splotched around his nose, two white balls of tissue clogging his nostrils, tape strewn across the bridge of his nose, two black eyes, a brused jaw and cheek bone and a sweet smile etched on his lips, his cinnamon eyes warm and glowing with affection, he's never looked more beautiful.

And he's all hers. And that's all she needs.

She kisses him softly, giving him a genuine, whole smile. "Yah...let's go."

His beam and whispered 'I love you so much' confirms that she's smitten with Finn Hudson as much as he's smitten with Rachel Berry.

_"What's the use in trying?  
All you get is pain  
When I wanted sunshine  
I got rain..._

_And then I saw her face  
Now I'm a believer  
Not a trace  
Of doubt in my mind  
I'm in love  
I'm a believer  
I couldn't leave her  
If I tried..."_

_

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**AN#2: **Cuuuuute Finchel = FTW! Song credit was "I'm a Believer" btw if it wasn't obvious :)

THANKS FOR READING, PLEASE REVIEW AND KEEP YOUR EYE OUT FOR MORE! MWAH!


	21. After All

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything GLEE-related.

**Author's Note: **WHAT! Who's this person? What's this story? Haha HELLO EVERYONE! Once again...I'm SO SORRY that I was gone for so long but here I am with a chapter that I thought I would NEVER get up but here it is! I'm thinking there's about another chapter and the epilogue so we're close people! I've been so exhausted so I'm sorry if this is lame. Thanks SO much to all your support throughout this...I LOVE you guys! I don't know when I'll be able to post again but keep your eye out! For now, ENJOY some FINCHEL FLUFF!

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She guides him carefully to the couch, giggling as he kisses the top of her head and hugs her closer. She sits him down, releasing his hand and waist from her grip before straightening out her wild hair from the static cling of his hoodie. She gives him a huge smile a kiss on the forehead as he groans and leans back against the couch. "My face hurts" he sighs, closing his eyes.

She giggles softly. "I know" she murmurs, soothingly. She straddles his hips and winds her arms around his neck, placing gentle kisses on his face. He purrs in pleasure and approval, his hands sliding down her back slowly. She kisses him softly, reminding him not to hurt himself as he responds with a new found hunger and fervor, opening his mouth to hers. She moans quietly as his tongue traces her bottom lip and his finger trails down her spine. She's quickly losing control so she does what she knows her loves, tugging on his hair delicately and sliding her tongue into his mouth. She smirks when he moans longingly, pulling back his head so she can trail her lips down his jaw and throat. She nibbles at his pulse point as he releases a breathy groan and she knows he's completely forgotten about his pain.

She kisses him quickly, climbing off his lap and sending him a sexy grin. "I'll go get your pain killers and ice" she says alluringly and he nods dazed. She saunters away, sashaying her hips teasingly (giving him something to look at) as smiles triumphantly. He doesn't know what an effect he had on her.

She prepares a glass of ice water along with a pack of ice and pain killers, grabbing the _Chips Ahoy! _bag out of the cupboard and making him a plate. She smiles proudly as she places the pain killers next to the cookies and hauls it all in her arms as she heads back to the living room, smiling fondly when she sees him, head resting on the back of the couch and eyes closed. She sinks down next to him, placing the cookies and packet of ice on the glass coffee table, taking the painkillers gingerly and offering them to him. He beams at her, chugging them down with two swigs of water as she kisses his cheek and grabs the bag of ice, gently and tenderly pressing it to his face. He places his hand on top of hers and kneads it gently, sending her a soft, grateful smile. No words are exchanged but she knows exactly what he's thinking as she kisses his forehead as she gets to her feet.

"Do you want to watch _Modern Family?_" she inquires, taking the case off the table.

"Of course" he replies with a grin, adjusting himself on the couch as she pops it in the DVD player and settles next to him. She snuggles into his warm, muscular chest and hums in bliss as he holds her close, kissing her hair.

Once they had left the clinic, Finn had been in unbearable pain. He tried to deny and mask it but she knew him too well, telling him that it was okay while running her fingers gently through his hair. He rarely complained with the reassurance, trying to keep up a discussion with Mr. Schue and her but failing due to his headache. He would occasionally kiss her hand and attempt to apologize but she'd shush him, telling him that she didn't want to talk about it while he was in pain and assuring him that she already forgives him and loves him. He'd grimace in guilt despite her promises and mumble an 'okay...but we're going to have to talk about it' after telling her he loves her more and she'd smile, murmuring an affectionate 'I know'.

He laughs at something Eric Stonestreet says and the sound rumbles like thunder through him and she laughs as well, tracing a finger along his chest unconsciously. He strokes her hair idly, his hand sliding down her back, sending shivers down her spine as she snuggles closer, enjoying the simplicity of spending time with him.

She yawns after placing a kiss on his chest, feeling the emotional drain from the whole week and the worry from today weighing down on her eyelids as she cuddles closer to him, closing her eyes and smiling when she thinks of the song her and Kurt sang and how it applies to the situation at hand.

_"Forget your troubles  
Happy days  
C'mon get happy  
Are here again  
You better chase all your cares away  
The skies above are clear again..."_

"Baby?" he murmurs warily and nervously, reaching for the remote and pausing it.

"Hmm?" she mumbles, looking up at him, fluttering her eyelashes. She sees the worry and guilt on his face as well as determination as she sits up, reaching out and caressing his face.

"Can we talk now?" he questions hopefully. She gives him a dubious and unsure look, indicating his pain and he places his hand on top of hers that's on his cheek. "I need to do this...I can't relax unless we get this behind us."

She nods and he gives her a winning smile despite his demolished face before pulling her onto his lap again. She giggles as he sighs blissfully, adjusting her so she's not pressing into his bruised side before placing a kiss on her collarbone. Running her fingers through his dark hair, she gives him a timid smile. "Are you sure?" she inquires quietly.

"Positive" he replies with a grin, pressing his lips to her collarbone again. "Are you comfy?"

She nods with a beam before turning serious. "Okay" he says on his exhale. "Before I say anything else, I have to apologize. For _so_ many things. I'm sorry for leading you on. I'm sorry for ignoring you and deserting you so many times. I'm sorry for not listening and making you feel unheard. I'm sorry for humiliating you and making you feel small. I'm sorry for making you feel ugly and unwanted. I'm sorry for being so selfish...and mean...and immature. I'm sorry for breaking your heart every time I had it. I'm sorry for not being good enough.

"I wish I could say that I am good enough for you and that I'm perfect and that I'll never hurt you again but I can't. I'm not good enough for you...never have, never will be. I'm far from perfect. I'm selfish and needy and stupid-"

"No you're not" she insists, stroking his face. "You're not-"

"Yes, I am. I _was_. I only cared about myself. I thought that I couldn't make mistakes or that they didn't matter. I was so scared of who was watching and if I was popular because Quinn and Puck made me that way. Then I found out they lied and I was so lost. And I used you because I was scared. I was scared of the unknown. You were -_are_- _so _good to me and I used you as a punching bag. You're so much better than that. You're perfect. And I'm far from it.

"You're so much to lose, Rachel. If I lost you, I'd die. But even though I know you're way too good for me, I learned from all of this besides the fact that I'm an idiot is that I love you more than it's possible. I love you more than life...more than anything in existence...more than anything in the universe. I can't give you much but I know I can and do love you more than anyone could ever love another person. I'm determined to make you smile, to tell you how amazing you are every day, to tell you how much I love you every second, to cheer you on, to be your rock, to be whatever you want me to be and to be with you until the very end. I won't ever stop loving you."

A sob escapes his lips and he muffles it by kissing her palm. "I'm so, so, so frigging sorry, Rach" he says in a whisper, his voice strained and heartbreaking. "Words can't cover how sorry I am and how much I love you. You're the best thing in my life. I'm sorry I lied. I'm sorry I'm not good enough. I'm sorry I hurt you so much. I hate myself. I'm stupid."

"You're not-"

"Slap me, Rach."

"What?" she asks in confusion.

"Slap me and tell me I'm the worst person on the planet and that I'm a stupid douche and tell me how much you hate me for doing this" he says in a shaky voice. "Break up with me and make me hurt and leave the state to be a star. Be the lead in a hit Broadway production and marry a Hollywood stud who can give you everything you've ever wanted. Forget me when I come and see your show and tell you how much I miss you. Get security to drag me away like a crazy person because you don't know who I am. Make me die inside, Rachel because that's what I deserve. I can't live without you. I don't deserve you. I never have and I never will."

She cradles his face and shakes her head in both bewilderment and incredulity. "Never" she breathes honestly. "I'd never do that...I could never forget you or leave you behind. Is that what you were scared of?"

He nods sheepishly. "Yah" he mutters in embarrassment. "You're going places, Rach. I'm not going anywhere. And I've been so bad to you and you have no idea how sorry I am. Sorry doesn't cover it. I wish I'd never done all of it...I screwed it up so bad." His eyes glaze with tears as he gazes up at her, his lip wobbling slightly The sight makes her kiss his bruised eyelid tenderly, just as he did with hers, and caress his beautiful face. "I can't even begin to tell you how lucky and thankful I am to have you in my life. You're everything, Rach...I want to be the 'most likely to get married' couple till graduation. I want to be the one kissing you after we throw our stupid pointy hats in the air at grad. I want to be the one who moves with you to New York because my grades were decent enough for a scholarship at a school in NYC. I want to be the one getting down on one knee and begging my glorious perfect girlfriend to marry me. I want to be the one who stands at the end of the aisle, crying tears of joy as I watch you glide to me in that white dress, a dad on each arm, thanking the Big Man that you're actually mine forever. I want to be the one kissing you when we find out you're pregnant. I want to be the one who squeezes your hand while you give us the gift of our baby. I want to be the one cuddling with you while we watch our Jewish babies grow up. I want to be the one who grows old with you, Rachel Berry. And I will be that guy because I'm forever yours, faithfully and I'm going to work my ass off to make sure you feel happy and safe and loved every second of every day. I love you, Rach...more than anything in existence. And I will forever."

She gives him a watery beam. "Do you really mean that?"

His eyes widen as he stares at her incredulously, his finger tracing her facial features daintily. "How could I not mean it, Rach?" he says softly, disbelief layering his tone.

It seems to dawn on him, something she can't classify, as his lips part and his eyes become overcast with regret, his expression twisting. Her heart breaks because he's too beautiful to look so disgusted with himself as his warm cinnamon eyes lock on hers, his large hand stroking her face tenderly. He shakes his head lightly and she can tell he's contemplating how to phrase his jumbled thoughts because she sees this disoriented look often. He opens his mouth to say something but closes it again because he's so lost.

She smiles slightly, watching as his brow furrows in concentration as his tongue darts out to lick his soft lips and his jaw shifts -his usual expression when he's trying to organize his thoughts. "I-I-I..." He grunts, annoyed that he's stuttering. "I-I...damn it! I'm such an idiot! I don't even know what the hell to say! You're so beautiful and sweet and kind and patient with me and you say all these nice things that make me feel really good about myself and you've always been this nice to me but I screwed up so many freaking times because I couldn't believe how much I liked you and I felt guilty 'cause I was still dating Quinn but I wanted to be with you so badly. Then I kept breaking your heart because I'm stupid and self-centered and then I got all 'me-man-you-woman' cave man on you 'cause you were trying to move on but I wouldn't let you 'cause I'm selfish. But you're still so awesome to me and I can't return it 'cause I'm a jackass and now you're scared that I'm gonna hurt you again and you have every right to be 'cause of what a douche I've been but I hate myself that I made you scared...why am I so stupid? How can you love me? I'll never understand that...never ever. You're way too good for me, Rach and I don't know why you can't see that. Anybody else would just dump my sorry ass...I don't get it 'cause I'm too stupid to get it!"

She can't help it, she laughs. His look of bewilderment only encourages her peals of laughter because she finds his opinion on himself ludicrous. He frowns and asks quietly, like a child: "See?"

She stops immediately when she sees the hurt on his angelic face and reaches her hand out to touch his cheek. She's memorized the constellation of freckles and moles on his face and back. She can recall several occasions over the summer of just spending a lazy, hot day connecting the dots on his face or back and tracing her finger along his bare spine, smiling when he'd moan softly. Once she found a scar on his rib cage. She had run her finger against it gently, asking where he got it to which he had replied: "Puck shoved me off the jungle gym in third grade. I got cut all along my side and that one just stayed for some reason." She then proceeded to kiss it and grin when he released a breathy groan of approval.

She taps her finger against the mole on his left cheek bone and smiles brightly at him, watching as his insecurities seem to wash away from her small gestures. She continues not only for his sake but also because she loves touching his face (well she loves touching _him_ in general), gliding her thumb along the freckles on the bridge of his nose, careful not to hurt him, down across his full pink lips to the freckle on his chin then to one on his throat. She retraces her path with her lips, enjoying the tiny noises of content he makes as she does so as her lips ghost across his bruises.

The bruises he took for_ her_.

She runs her hand through his thick, dark hair that she adores, grazing his scalp gently with her finger tips. The other hand slithers down his chest, finger nail outlining his pecks and abs and she's dying to pull his shirt over his head and toss it to the floor but she doesn't, enjoying the moment of intimacy. He sighs blissfully as she peppers his face with kisses, her hand skimming his belt while the other continues to play with his hair.

"You're not stupid" she murmurs between kisses. "Do you think Rachel Berry would be with a jackass or a ding-bat?" He chuckles lightly, shaking his head. "Never in a million years." She kisses his temple. "You made mistakes...so what? I've made them, too and you never gave up on me." Her lips caress his cheek before pecking his lips. "It hurt, Finn...I'm not going to lie. But do you know what would hurt more? Losing you…" She kisses his jaw. "Not spending the rest of high school in bliss with you. Not throwing those caps up and kissing the life out of you at grad. Not jumping in your arms while screaming 'yes!' after you propose. Not walking down the aisle to my gorgeous future husband, thanking God I have you. Not telling you I'm pregnant with our first baby...then our second...then our third..." Her lips slide down his throat. "Maybe a fourth..." She nibbles his pulse point, smiling when his Adam's apple bobs as he swallows, releasing a low groan. "Not growing old with you. Not spending every second of everyday with the man I love more than anything in the universe...I couldn't do it. And I won't do it. You're stuck with me, Finn because I can't live without you and I never, ever will."

She kisses his lips again, firmer and with more fervor. Her stomach flips because she's missed this _so _much and she can tell he has, too. She hums against his lips, smiling against them when she feels his tongue brush her bottom lip and his moan when their tongues make contact. Sparks fly and electricity crackles as it always does as she presses herself closer to him. "I love you more than anything and nothing will ever, _ever_ change that. You're everything, Finn."

She molds her lips against his as his arms wrap tighter around her waist, kissing her with everything he has. He murmurs apologies and his love for her continuously against her lips, cheek, jaw, neck and throat as they make up for all of the lost time and hurt over the past week. "I love you way, way, _way _more, baby...you have no idea. You're my world...my heart...my soul..." he whispers, hugging her close to him. She feels his tears slowly soaking her hospital gown as she grips him tightly, burying her face in his neck. "I love you." His voice is strained but true as he snuggles her protectively, making her feel so cherished.

"I love you" she says with all honesty and authenticity. "And I forgave you before you apologized. You'll always have my love and forgiveness, Finn. Always...before you even need it."

"I'm so sorry, gorgeous" he whispers tenderly. "Thank you...thank you. You're my life, Rach. Never, ever forget that. Slap me if I ever get stupid again. I love you."

She giggles, holding him as close as possible. "Just so you know...you're never leaving again. You're stuck with me."

"I wouldn't want it any other way" he coos and she smashes her lips against his, tasting his delicious mouth, forgetting his injuries, forgetting her name and melting into the incredible Finn Hudson who is perfectly imperfect in every way.

* * *

_"Well, here we are again;  
I guess it must be fate.  
We've tried it on our own,  
But deep inside we've known  
We'd be back to set things straight._

__

I still remember when  
Your kiss was so brand new.  
Every memory repeats,  
Every step I take retreats,  
Every journey always brings me back to you.

_After All the stops and starts,  
We keep coming back to these two hearts,  
Two angels who've been rescued from the fall.  
After All that we've been through,  
It all comes down to me and you.  
I guess it's meant to be,  
Forever you and me, After All..."_

_

* * *

_

**AN#2: **Awwwwww Finchel = FTW! LONG CHAPTER TOO! Song credit was "After All" by Peter Cetera...beautiful song w/ Cher :)

Next Chapter (penultimate *second last* one!): New Directions has some apologizing to do ;)

THANKS FOR READING AND PLEASE REVIEW! I'll try to post ASAP! LOVE TO ALL!


	22. Home

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything GLEE-related.

**Author's Note: **Well hello there! I am SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO sorry for taking forever with this chapter. You have no idea how exhausted and swamped I am. Thank you SO much for your support and this is the penultimate chapter! Epilogue will be up ASAP. I'll try to be quicker. Thank you for sticking with me...I love you all! ENJOY!

* * *

His fingers interlaced with hers is the only thing that exists as he guides her down the hall with an eager smile, holding her close to him. Whenever she asks where he's taking her, he grins broadly with a feigned nonchalant shrug before kissing her hand or hair or cheek.

"Come on, please?" she begs with a pout. "I don't like surprises!"

"I know, baby" he replies in amusement, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "But the answer's still a 'no'...you'll thank me later."

"I doubt that" she mutters, faking sadness. She huffs loudly and dramatically when he only smirks and he winds his arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer and whispering an 'I love you' in her ear, making a smile erupt across her face. "I guess I'll manage."

He beams, kissing her hair again as she slides an arm around his waist, releasing a blissful sigh and revelling in his sheer perfection.

After his long speech, they kissed and snuggled for a bit but talked as well. They talked about their insecurities and how hard it was without the other. She talked about how much it hurt to lose him and asked him why he did what he did. He replied in tears with the answer that he found out about her kissing Puck he was lost and confused. He wanted to forgive her but he thought about how many mistakes he made and that caused his thinking to be affected. He said he called her a freak because he was scared and wanted to pretend he didn't love her because he was too scared that he'd hurt her again. They embraced and kissed some more, murmuring their love for each other for hours until his mom came home, freaking out when she saw his bruises but smiling so wide at the fact that she was on his lap. Carole had dragged her off of Finn and hugged her so tightly she couldn't breathe before fussing over Finn but beaming with pride when he'd explained why he was covered in bruises.

That was one distant week ago. His wounds were getting better by the day and her black eye vanished without a trace. The dark circles and puffy red eyes, pale complexion, heartbreak and insomnia had completely dissipated and she found herself happier and healthier than ever. Their relationship was stronger than ever as well, continuing to grow with every second they were together. She can't fathom how much she adores him. Nor can she believe how loved and cherished she feels with him.

He sends her another cheeky, sly grin as leads her into the auditorium despite her questions. He takes her hand and with a child-like eagerness drags her to the front row. She furrows her brow and looks around suspiciously as he hauls her along with a goofy smile etched on his perfect face. When they reach the front row, he sits her down in the centre seat of the first row and she opens her mouth to ask if he's lost his mind when he presses a lingering, hot kiss on her mouth, silencing her to the point that she forgets what she wanted to say and where they are. She deepens the kiss enthusiastically, demanding more and he responds with just as much passion, seeming to forget what he wanted to do. They get lost in each other and her lips burn from the intensity and authenticity that crackles between them, his soft full lips sweet, his mouth warm and his light moan divine.

Someone hiding in the vast darkness of the auditorium clears their throat loudly and she jumps in shock, her eyes snapping open. He chuckles huskily as he hovers above her, pressing another gentle kiss on her swollen lips. His lips remain soft on hers before another loud cough interrupts them and he groans in annoyance, calling a irritated "I'm coming!" before sending her a serene smile. "Sit tight, baby" he murmurs persuasively with a sexy smirk. "Love you."

She beams at him dreamily with a breathed "love you" as he pecks her forehead once more before sauntering away behind the curtains. She watches him go in a lovestuck trance but once he disappears, she comes back to reality. Huffing in annoyance and amusement, she crosses her arms and leans back, curiousity growing.

Her suspicion and intrigue is increased even more when the curtains rise and New Directions stands before her. She furrows her brow and chances a glance at Finn who grins proudly, affection adorning his bruised face. She shakes her head in disbelief, turning to Artie who shrugs lightly and jokingly with a large smile. "What's going on?" she inquires slowly, getting to her feet.

"We're officially apologizing" Mercedes says softly and shamefacedly. "We're really sorry for everything, girl. We were really mean."

The club nods along and Mr. Schue steps forward. "The club all prepared a little something in your honor. But before that, we all have something to say. I'll start by saying how sorry I am for being so hypocritical and mean. You're a gifted performer with incredible passion and dedication and a fantastic person, Rachel. You're the heart and soul of this club."

She sinks back down into her seat, watching as Mr. Schue passes the torch to Santana. The girl looks reluctant and annoyed, grimacing bitterly while muttering: "I guess I don't totally hate you."

"Gee, thanks" she says sarcastically.

"They made me say it" Santana defends. "But I guess we kind of need you."

Santana nods to Brittany who smiles brightly. "You're small, Rachel" she states cheerily. "But you have a really big brain and heart and voice so come back to Glee! I made you a card!"

She chuckles at the Cheerio as she hands it off to Quinn who sighs, ashamed. "Despite our differences and my frequent declarations of my detest for you" she begins gently. "I've actually always admired you. And have been extremely jealous of you. You're a really good person and it was wrong of me to say otherwise. I'm truly sorry for being so sour toward you. I hope some day, you can forgive me and we can be friends because I'd be lucky to have someone like you as a friend. And we really need you in Glee."

She smiles softly at Quinn as she gestures to Tina who releases an exhale. "I'm really sorry, Rachel" she says sadly. "I'm sorry for being so horrible to you. You've always been really nice to me and I was rude to dismiss you and treat you so badly. We miss you...you're what kept us together. You were the glue and the star. We just don't work without you. I'm so sorry and just know that I'll stand by you now."

Tina skips over Lauren and motions toward Mercedes who sends her a tentative smile. "I've always been envious of you" she admits with a light laugh. "You're smart and pretty and insanely talented and you're really caring. I tried to deny it but you are an amazing person and we all need you...both on and off the stage. I'm really sorry for being so rude. We're divas...we have to stick together."

She smirks slightly as Mercedes who passes it to Sam. "I'm new here and didn't know the history so much" he says sheepishly. "But I was still really mean to you by not saying anything. I should've stood up for you because you're my teammate and you made me feel talented and smart. When you gave me that tip in math, my grade totally went up, like, thirty percent. I'm sorry for watching you suffer and not saying anything. But this club needs you...you're totally awesome, Rachel and I'm gonna stick by you from now on...we're family."

Sam gives her a smile which she returns as Mike steps forward. "I've never really said anything" he laughs. "But by not saying anything, I participated in knocking you down. I'm so sorry for that. You're the star and heart of this club...you pick us up when we're down. Without you, we're broken. And like Sam said, I'm sticking with you because you're my teammate and friend and family."

Mike nods toward Puck who shoves his hands in his pockets. "I'm sorry for being all up in your grill, Rachel" he says genuinely. "I was really selfish and mean to you when you were nice. You made me feel like I could be something more than a sex-shark. This club needs you...I miss you nagging us about pitch because without it, we suck. You're _the_ shit, Berry. This club doesn't function without it's captain."

Puck gestures to Artie who sends her a broad grin. "I'm sorry for not realizing you're epic until now" he says in amusement. "Know that I'm sticking with you till the bitter end...we're BFFL's." She laughs. "Preach to everything everyone else said. And if anybody acts out, just smack 'em down like the hand of God. I'll be behind you one-hundred and fifty perfect."

She chuckles as Finn takes over, sending her a soft, loving smile. "You have no idea how sorry I am" he says authentically. "I was so horrible to you. But I love you more than life and I'll do whatever it takes to make it up to you fully. You're my everything, baby. My heart, my soul, my life-"

"We get it, lover boy" Mercedes calls in a feigned groan of annoyance. "Can we move on?"  
"Fine" Finn grumbles. "I love you so damn much, gorgeous...more than you'll ever know and this is for you." She beams, blowing him a kiss as he smiles broadly.

They all set up and once the combined melodies of the mash-up ring out loud and clear, she can't tamper large grin that errupts across her face. They do a mash-up of 'Baby come back' and 'She's not ust a pretty face', nailing it perfectly and she finds herself clapping along as the dance and sing energetically, making her feel wanted and appreciated.

She tries to watch everyone but her eyes are glued to Finn most of the time, awed by his perfection. He sings with pride and honesty and dances in his adorkably awkward way, staring at her with so much love she feels like she's going to explode. Is it possible to love somebody this much?

When they finish, she applauds wildly and runs up onto the stage. Everyone watches her expectantly and hopefully as she sends them all a huge beam. "Thank you for that" she says softly. "It was great to hear. You were all fantastic. I'm still a bit hesitant to trust you guys again but performing and I just can't stay away from each other for that long." Everyone laughs. "I guess I'll come back."

There's a chorus of hollers and "group hug!" as she's enveloped by the mass that is New Directions. She laughs and relishes in the feeling of being accepted. It's a warm sensation that she can't help but indulge in. She's starting to think Glee won't be so bad.

When Finn takes her into his arms and kisses her with all the passion and love in the world after whispering an 'I love you', she has no doubt that this is it.

She's home.

* * *

**AN#2: **Yay! Rachel feels APPRECIATED! And Finchel Fluff = FTW!

Next Chapter (and last!): Epilogue

THANKS FOR READING, PLEASE REVIEW, LOVE TO ALL AND I'LL TRY TO UPDATE ASAP!


	23. Epilogue

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything GLEE-related.

**Author's Note: **AHHHH! WHO IS THIS PERSON! Ha ha HAI EVERYONE! I am SO SO SO SO SO SO SO sorry for taking SO long to update...I don't even want to know how long I took. But this is THE END! Thank you SO much to everyone who reviewed, alert-ed, read and stuck with this story to the end! YOU ARE ALL AMAZING! Please feel free to request/recommend topics (strictly FINCHEL) but beware I will update at a glacial pace or slower than malasis in January (canadian humor for ya). Anyways THANK YOU so much and also HOORAY for 200 REVIEWS! *applause* you have no idea how happy it makes me...I wish I could do this for a living :(

Anyways ENJOY the end of Erase Me! Beware: VERY FLUFFY!

* * *

**2 MONTHS LATER**

"-And I was like 'Aw, _HELL no!'-"_

She laughs along with the rest of the group at Mercedes' exaggeration as she retells the story of her weekend involving the cashier at the local MiniMart after her and Kurt had purchased. As Mercedes flails her arms and screeches, she finds herself enjoying the story immensely. Who knew Mercedes was that funny?

Zoning out slightly when she feels Finn's arm tighten around her waist and press his lips to the top of her head, nuzzling her hair affectionately, she grins brightly and revels in his touch, scooting closer and kneading his thigh while pressing a kiss to his cheek. He gives her a huge smile, rubbing her back before using his free hand to grab his sandwich and devour it quickly. She watches him with a smirk...he's too adorable for words.

"-Then he was all 'Sorry but you need to move. You can't loiter...if you're not gonna buy nothin' then-"

"No, no" Kurt laughs. "First we went up and asked if he had the new People magazine and he said no and _then _you went all hell-bent-crazy on him."

"Oh, yah" Mercedes says thoughtfully. "Then we stood at the back and looked through the ancient magazines until he told us to get out and then-"

She laughs again, a warm, fuzzy, familiar feeling spreading through her body when she feels Finn chuckle, the sound rumbling like thunder through him. She snuggles closer, relishing in the feel of him while taking the moment to look around the table. She can't believe it's been two months. So much has changed and she can't believe how good she feels.

After rejoining Glee, things went way up. She was firm with her promise not to trust the club again so easily but soon found herself enveloped by the new-found warmth and affection from her teammates. They were all friends now. She didn't feel excluded.

Her eyes land on Mercedes first who's gasping dramatically as she recalls the events. Her smile grows. Her friendship with Mercedes had grown leaps and bounds. Mercedes finally took fault for treating her unfairly and admitted to her jealousy of Rachel's talent. The girls bonded and she found herself shopping with the girl who was yanking her into different stores. It felt oddly right.

Next she looks to Kurt. Kurt had transferred back to McKinley a week after she rejoined the club, telling them that Dalton couldn't handle his level of fabulous. She was ecstatic to have her friend back within distance. Their friendship is exactly what she needs.

She turns to Tina who's seated beside Kurt, laughing at the story. Their friendship had improved immensely as well. Tina understood her more and put an end to her contribution of tearing her down. The girl apologized numerous times and told her how glad she was to have her back in the club. She actually hosted a few girls' (and Kurt) nights.

She glimpses at Mike next and smiles. It's funny how their friendship had expanded from nothing into a lot. He was very kind and gracious in having her back and turns out, he's hilarious. They worked on choreography together with Brittany and Mr. Schue and she had a blast. Mike also helped her teach Finn the moves too. He's like a brother.

Next there's Puck. Puck had grown to be her big brother. He'd mumbled something about her being the star of the club and how he was sorry for making her feel bad, completely awkward. He was never good at that stuff. But she had grinned and punched his arm, telling him how articulate he was (sarcasm). Their friendship was strange but great.

Her eyes shift to Quinn. What a change two months can make on a rivalry. Quinn was softer and kinder toward her and she had discovered that the girl was quite warm and funny (when you get past the constant need to be in control). Their friendship worked for some odd reason and she's found herself with Quinn as one of her closest friends.

She turns to Sam, seated beside Quinn, and smiles. Sam had been a very good friend as well. He put an effort in to get to know her and she discovered he was genuinely sweet and very funny. It was nice to have someone like him to get to know.

Then there's Santana. Nothing changed positively between them. Santana was still bitter with her but the difference was that now _she _had the power and support. Santana barely even tried to make her feel inferior...she knew that she wouldn't win. That was something she relished in.

Her eyes land on Brittany next. Brittany was really innocent so there really wasn't much harm. Brittany was really happy to have her back and showed her the card she made her that had a bunch of misspelled words but was sweet nonetheless. I guess you could call it a friendship.

And of course there's Artie. He has been nothing but awesome. Besides Finn, he's her best friend in the entire world. She couldn't of done any of this without him.

Last, but definitely not least, is Finn. There were no words to describe how amazing he's been. Their relationship had grown into something indestructible and absolutely flawless. He had matured severely and learned to appreciate her. She's never felt so loved, secure and beautiful. He was perfect in every way, making sure he told her how much he loved her and how lucky he felt to have her. She's so happy...it's impossible.

His bruises healed about two weeks after the incident and she had never been so happy to see his gorgeous face, clear of wounds. And maybe her relief lead to some other things involving lots of touching and kissing and things that would be kept just between them. Let's just say Finn had the biggest, dopiest look on his face the next day at school and she had to wear her hair in a side ponytail to cover the love bites. And maybe she had to slap his hands away about a dozen times when they were in public, finally rewarding him with a trip to the janitor's closet later that day.

Glee Club had improved immensely after he return, New Directions becoming the feared rookie club coming into Nationals. She can't believe that she'll be in New York in a mere two months with Finn and all of her teammates. She knows, deep down, that they'll at least place second at Nationals this year. Vocal Adrenaline doesn't stand a chance.

"You okay, babe?" Finn murmurs, pulling her out of her trance as she returns to the present. She looks up at him to see his perfect face contorted in curiosity and confusion with a hint of concern and a huge wave of adoration and gratefulness to have him washes over her.

She grins up at him, nodding her head enthusiastically. "Yah" she answers softly in response, squeezing his knee in reassurance and reaching up to peck his cheek. "I'm just really happy is all."

He grins in response. "Me too" he cooes, kissing the top of her head.

"And I just really love you" she says honestly, her beam glowing. "I-I...I have no idea what I'd do without you, Finn. I love you so much."

He leans down, his smile glorious, his breath tickling her ear. It's intoxicating. "I love you way more, Rach" he whispers, kissing the spot behind her ear. "You're my life."

His soft, full, tasty lips meet hers and she forgets her surroundings, feeling so blessed to have this perfect man in her arms. And he loves her more than she can comprhend. She knows that no matter what, it's Finchel against the world. There's nothing better than that.

The loud, amused throat clearings pull them out of their personal bubble as they turn to see the Glee Club scoffing jokingly. "Swapping spit at the lunch table" Kurt says sarcastically with a leer. "How classy."

She sticks her tongue out at him as everyone laughs, cradling Finn's perfect face in her hands as he kisses her temple, breathing another 'I love you'. She kisses him even firmer not only to annoy Kurt further but also because she can't go another second without feeling his lips on hers.

She finally overcame all the obstacles. She finally stood up for herself. She earned respect. She gained friendships and the most amazing man on the planet.

She found Rachel Berry.

And Rachel Berry is nothing without Finchel.

* * *

**AN#2: **IT'S OVER! THANK YOU SO MUCH TO ALL! Review and alert...I'M TAKING REQUESTS!

Lots of love to all,

Maddie xoxoxoxo


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